Festivals are a wondrous time, and with the mass of people flocking to listen to music and dance in a field for a few days, you’re bound to hear loads of bants coming at you from every angle. So, to pay homage to the great times ahead, here is the banter you’ll probably hear at Splendour.
“I know we’ve heard Humble like a thousand times.. but this is gonna be hella lit”
But seriously. The first guitar riffs come on and people still go nuts over it. It honestly doesn’t matter how many times this song gets played, we’re always going to scream it and dance in an uncoordinated manner. Last year, Humble was covered more times than I can count on my hand.. now it’s actually being played by Kendrick himself. And yes, it’s gonna be hella lit (or whatever alternative slang you want to insert here.)
“Security is coming.. No for real! Guys hide the booze!”
Thursday is the worst for it honestly. One moment you’re having a few bevvies before you kick things up a notch and make your way in for the pre parties. The next moment you’re locking your car (with the smuggled booze inside) and scurrying off with your keys so they can’t take your drinks away from you. If you’re really unlucky, you’ll be having a snooze in the sun when you’re told security is coming. The daunting reality smacks you hard, and in your sleepy stupor you have to rummage around hiding everything.
“Oh mah gawd.. their outfit though”
This is usually said in astonishment when we see the girls wearing only glitter as their outfit, looking like actual kweens. The outfits that get pulled off at Splendour are out of this world. People take it as the perfect opportunity to let their personality shine through and it really doesn’t disappoint. I once saw a man with his pubes dyed purple.. like I said.. astonishment.
“Mate we’ll meet back at the chip on a stick stand.. nah the stall with the spiral potatoes, you know the one!”
You’re going to get lost and it’s going to happen a lot. You always plan to have a meeting point when splitting up and seeing your own acts but it doesn’t seem to go to plan. Phone reception is practically non-existent, so messaging is next to impossible. The festival is so loud that calling is pointless unless you remove yourself to the campsite. We all get so caught up in the hype of it all that we just forget we were meant to meet the others an hour ago. It’s all part of the adventure though, so just embrace it and hope for the best.
“Oi nah, this is shit aye”
Said for literally anything related to the festival, depending on the person. Be it the music, the tent, the beer, the exhaustion, or the hangover. This sentence is sure to be said.
Image source: Splendour in the Grass Facebook (Jess Gleeson and Savannah van der Niet)