Career & Living, Life

The Conversations You’ve Probably Heard In The Girl’s Club Bathrooms

You’ll run into all sorts of people on a night out with your friends. But what happens behind the doors of the girl’s club bathrooms is like a new world compared to the actual club. Once we enter, it’s like some weird bonding ritual takes place and our game faces we wore beyond the bathroom walls are removed. Here are (only) some of the conversations you’ll probably hear while in there.

“Pretty sure you’re my new best friend”

So you’ve had a bit too much and are struggling to get your crap together in the bathrooms. You might have lost your hair tie. Maybe you don’t have any toilet paper left. Or the worst-case scenario; you’ve run out of tampons (literal nightmare, would not wish on anyone.) Drunk girls in a crammed bathroom are bound to find kindred spirits in each other, especially when situations are dire and vulnerabilities are happily shown due to lowered inhibition. Anything you need is happily given in abundance, like a magical vending machine of knick-knacks and feelings. Girls will even hold your toilet door closed if the lock is broken (can confirm.)

“Oh my god, he just texted me. What the hell do I say?”

This is where you cue multiple girls turning around in a flurry to ask you for the nitty gritty details. Who is he? Where’d you find them? Are they here in the club? After all the initial details have been exhausted, then comes phase two; deciphering what kind of person they are depending on the texts and photos. The third and final stage is just an onslaught of opinions flying about that will determine whether you go home with him or not.

“She did not just try to cut the line.. wtf I’ve legit been waiting for an hour”

Oh, you better believe she cut the line, friend. And judging by the look on her face, she doesn’t regret a second. In this context, when everyone is frustrated and desperate for relief, the ones who cuts the line saying their need is greater are the literal embodiment of satan.

“Omg, where did you get your dressss?”

Absolute standard when entering the bathroom. We’re all chocka-block full of champagne, and as it turns out, compliments. When we see something we like, we’re not afraid to let others know in some over-exaggerated manner. Meaning the fawning and squealing reverberates off the tiles and leaves us all partially deaf.

“Oh jeez I look ugly”

The fluorescent lighting is nobody’s friend on their best day, let alone when you’re wasted in a club bathroom. We’re often met with a shock when our face finds the mirror and we come to the hazy realisation that how we thought we looked contradicts how we really look. Hair is often flattened and our eyeliner is usually smudged.. but it’s dark our there anyway, so who cares.

*In tears about [insert quandary here]*

We’ve all been there, sitting in the corner of the bathroom having a ball over something. While it may look a little concerning, 9/10 times it’s about something super trivial. Sure, we’re complicated creatures, but in most circumstances, all that’s needed are some chicken nuggets and a nap.

Image source: Soda Factory

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You'll always catch Leisha laughing at her own puns. She'd wear her red Converses to her own wedding and believes dirty dancing is always a swell idea.

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