I don’t know about you, but for some reason, when I cancel plans, it often doesn’t always feel like the worst thing. Be it a Tinder date (my specialty), hungover brunch plans or an exercise date (also a specialty), I’m always happy to cozy up in my doona and stay in for a few more hours. Do I have a bit of low-key stress about meeting up with people at times? Maybe.
There’s no doubt that there are MANY reasons to cancelling plans, maybe Mum said no, your goldfish is sick or you’ve got work. Whatever it may be, sometimes it’s very fair to feel like you don’t want to go out.
If you’re flaky as, but don’t want to be a terrible friend all the same, we’ve teamed up with headspace in our I Can’t Even Deal RN series, to bring you some genuine reasons to help cancel friends – but still make maintain good mate status.
#1 Don’t Overcommit
Chances are you’re bogged down – be general life duties, work, uni, internships, whatever it may be. You’re probably already too busy with your own life antics to even think about a social agenda. Overcommitting and trying to do all these things can be the issue behind you over stressing and being flaky asf. Prioritise what’s important, and if you can, make plans so you can kill two birds with one stone.
#2 Always Serve Up A Genuine Reason
Nope, “mum said no” just isn’t going to cut it anymore. This is the real-world kids, and your Mum isn’t going to cover your flaky behind anymore. Get rid of the sugar coating and let them know why you won’t be making it. Whether that be you just feel like pure crap, have a raging hangover or need to get some adult things done, let them know what the reason is. Saying that you have some urgent “work stuff that’s popped up at the last minute” for the fifth time in a week isn’t going to go down well – be honest.
There’s nothing like leaving an open book… open? Chances are you made plans on the basis you had gossip to catch up on, travel stories to hear or opinions about the latest Netflix series to tell. But let me tell you, nothing is worst than a friend who doesn’t reschedule when they cancel – especially if you considered them to be a decent mate. Yes, we’ve all been there and it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. But just be sure to reschedule your plans for a later date, so you can still catch up on all the juicy gossip and stories.
They’ll appreciate you making the effort, and how much brain power goes into one extra message?
#4 Don’t Be A Repeat Offender
If you want to avoid the flaky label, you’ve got to make some effort to attend at least minimal events. Being a repeat offender and constantly cancelling plans is a sure way to get you a reputation and less invites to these shindigs, resulting in mass FOMO. So as tempting as it may be to stay in and watch all of Brooklyn Nine Nine for the seventh time, while curled up in your doona, make some type of effort when you can.
When you cancel repeatedly, red flags start to go up in your friend/s mind.
#5 A$AP Rocky
If you know you’re not going to make it to your planned date, let them know as soon as you do, to avoid being a total dick. This gives them time to reschedule their calendar and potentially line up another date with another Tinder match (sorry). But just think of this as being a nice human in general. Goodness knows you don’t like it when plans cancel at the very last minute – especially when you were so looking forward to a weekend brunch after a long week. So put your shoe on the other foot and try to give as much notice, just like you’d want it.
Do you find yourself often breaking up plans? Maybe you feel anxious about going? Maybe you just find the time to fit everything in? You’re not a bad friend, it can just be overwhelming at times. So if you’re feeling a bit average post raincheck, here are a few tips to help with those tougher days. It’ll help you bounce back, and you’ll be feeling much better in no time.
Image Source: Photo by Radu Florin