Breakups are hard, there’s no denying that. And you’ll find tonnes of advice columns out there about how to get over your most recent heartbreak. But there’s one source of information from which we can all draw inspiration: the lives of celebrities.
Celebrities are always getting together and breaking up with each other. It’s just a constant stream of love and love lost. So why wouldn’t we take advice from the experts? After so much experience, they’re sure to be the best, most mature and experienced people to tell you how to handle your breakup with a level head and a sense of class.
Release A Statement
This is usually the first stop on the celebrity breakup train. Sometimes they come out of the blue, sometimes it’s after weeks of rumour and speculation. Releasing a statement announcing your conscious uncoupling is the best and clearest way to announce that yes, you two are over, you still love each other, but fate just had other things in store for you (and that it definitely has nothing at all to do with that Victoria’s Secret model from the other night).
Suddenly Turn Up In A New Relationship
Often inexplicable and out of the blue, stepping out with a new bae is one of the more blunt ways of announcing a breakup. For extra celebrity flair, don’t address any of the questions around this sudden change of arm candy. Just continue on with your life like you didn’t just trade in your ex for a new model. Bonus points if you just publicly make out with a Playboy Model and then never say anything about it (I’m looking at you, Brooklyn Beckham).
Post Shady Tweets And Instagram Pics
Ahhh yes, who doesn’t love a good subtweet? Whether it’s a simple “thank u, next” or a more complicated 5 part rant á la Calvin Harris post Tay Tay split. The shade is real, and celebrities love it. Take a page out of their books and subtweet away, the more indirect and cryptic the better.
Write An Emotional And/Or Brutal Diss Track
Taylor Swift. Queen of heartbreak and using it to her advantage. Seriously, the girl has made a whole career from breaking up, and she just closed an arena spectacular in Aus. There’s no better way to get over an ex boo than by writing a hit song about them and making bank. If we can learn anything from celebrities it’s that there’s money to be made in publicly exploiting what is usually private, so go forth and exploit!
Get Back Together
Then break up again. Then get back together. Then break up again. Then get back together. Then… you get the idea.
