Finding a decent roommate can be a chaotic adventure, to say the least. And some are definitely better than others, that’s for sure. If you’ve had experience moving about you’ve probably met a few of these roommates, and some in between.
Leaving a few things lying around is one thing, and not too much of a big deal if we’re being honest. But then there’s the mess who legit never bothers cleaning anything. One moment you have a nice clean kitchen, shiny plates and spotless utensils. The next thing you know is you get home from a long day at work and your expensive pot has white rice burnt onto the bottom of it. And no, it’s not sitting in the sink, soaking and trying to be salvaged. You might think that the mess will have a go at cleaning it, but nah. They’re in their dark room, wearing underwear from yesterday and napping because they were up till 3:15am doing God knows what in their cave.
The Neat Freak
You might leave your jumper on the back of the couch, or your shoes under the table where you took them off after a long, tiring day. Heck, maybe you were starving so decided to leave the pan for half an hour before cleaning it. Next thing you know you’re getting chastised for leaving “all of your damn crap” everywhere and “never cleaning anything”, which is a complete lie and a half. The neat freak strikes when you’re at your most exhausted self, and you’ve just worked a 10-hour day.
The Shy One
They’ll usually be seen with a book or a laptop, minding their own business. Even though they’re quiet you find out that there’s quite a great deal that makes them click. They’re endearingly loyal and a great friend once you get to know them. You get up to your usual antics on the weekend and all they can do is give you an semi-uncomfortable (but humourous) smile and a little head shake. They’re the literal mum/ dad friend, and it’s adorable and oddly comforting.
The Life Of The Party
These roommates are both a blessing for your social life, and a curse for your sleeping pattern. You’ll get home from your Saturday shift at the grocery store and find your humble abode turned into a party den that’s an epileptic fit waiting to happen. How can you be mad though? You don’t have work tomorrow, the fridge is fully stocked and you didn’t have to pay a single cent for the alcohol. This roommate is the literal epitome of your crazy, youthful days you’ll look back on fondly.
The Mysterious One
Who are they? What do they do with their time? Where do they go at night? Do they go into your room and look through your drawers? Who bloody knows, honestly. These roommates are the ones you can’t figure out.. at all. They give nothing away. They’re usually the ones that know way too much about a really obscure subject, usually revolving around some form of human sacrifice ritual. The mysterious roommates probably mean well, but they’re still a little creepy. But you only signed a six month lease so, I mean, you’ll probably make it out with all limbs.
Bright/Kauffman/Crane Productions, New Line Cinema and Josh and John Productions