For all your tireless swiping and carefully worded banter, you’ve done it. You made it to the point of physical interaction, but this is by no means the easy part. With the world of online dating comes heightened expectations, a vision of a person before you ever get a real glimpse. But with a little sorcery (science) and prep you’ll be bringing your A-game to the table. Here’s how to navigate the first date conversations without an awkward pause in sight.
Talk Experience Not Movies
Not that kind of experience, please. Mind. Gutter. Out you get. With the dating set all about profile pics and humble brags, talking your life experience is the right way to open. From travel, volunteering and a little occupation, you’re sure to stir up interest in your match. In a recent study 18% of couples were more likely to go on a second date when travel was spoken of verses a measly 9% when movies were the topic of choice. So put your Netflix list to one side and talk about that never-ending bucket list of yours.
Watch Your Tone
The pace of the conversation matters just as much as the content. A monotone drawl is enough to set your potential lover running for the proverbial hills, or at least away from the second date with gusto. Listen, add to what they say and bounce it back into their court. Don’t dominate and don’t be silent, you want to get to know this person (at least a little). Vocal modulation is one key indicator of attraction, if the person sitting across from you is animated you’re in luck. Research found those interested in a rendez vous used a wider vocal spectrum than those who weren’t. All about that rise and fall.
Divulge A Little
We’re not saying share all your dirty little secrets, but a little reveal creates intimacy. Skip the arduous hours, days and weeks of relationship escalation to show you’re interested. As long as it’s not criminal or abhorrent it’s a great way to lower their guard and warm up the interaction. Tread carefully here, but when done right you’re guaranteed another meeting.
Be Controversial
Not Trump supporting, One Nation voting kind of controversial. Please. But when the options are controversial or dull, the former is always better. Stimulating conversation just short of angsty debates are a great way to size up your potential partner. For whatever hasn’t been revealed in your comprehensive pre-date stalking, it’s a get to know you real quick winner. Science says a little friction doesn’t take away from compatibility.
Read The Signs
They say imitation is flattery, and the research certifies it. If your dining partner is matching your eye rolls, hair flips and gestures you’re onto a winner. Unconscious mimicry is the brain’s response to the other in a positive way, research says you’re on the short circuit to success.
