While finding the person you love is one of the best feelings ever, dating isn’t great for everyone. In fact, sometimes it can be super scary. The uncertainty, the fear of rejection, the paranoia of not coming across how you wanted to. It’s really easy to feel insecure, and all those terrible dating myths that make you even more paranoid really don’t help.
But fear not, we’ve teamed up with our mates at headspace to bring you our Swipe Right series on all things sex, love and dating. Most of those trashy dating assumptions are actually myths, so let’s get busting!
Myth #1: You Need To Have A Romantic Origin Story
In the age of Tinder, Grindr, Bumble, and now Hinge (I really can’t keep up), basically everyone is online dating. It’s normal, it’s convenient, and honestly, how else are we meant to meet people? So, in this iWorld, why are we so embarrassed about saying we met our bae on Tinder? You can meet on Tinder and still have the romance of the century.
You can still go on amazing, thoughtful romantic dates and have the time of your life, and meeting on Tinder shouldn’t detract from your relo or your story. Honestly, it’s just not a big deal, and no one is going to care anyway as long as you’re happy.
Myth #2: You Need To Agree On Everything
So, this is one that I def struggled with. Expecting your partner to have the exact same beliefs as you on everything just isn’t realistic. You can’t expect them to immediately see the world through your point of view, because they don’t have your point of view. You have different experiences, and that’s okay – instead, work on sharing those experience so you can better understand each other.
If you’re frustrated that they disagree on something, talk about it. Have those heated discussions. Get your point across, argue your views, and communicate your ideas.
Myth #3: Arguing All The Time Is Normal
This one’s a biggie. Of course, disagreements are normal. As we just talked about, you’re def going to have things you argue about, that’s fine. And hey – you might even come out of that knowing more about the world than you went in. But, sometimes those arguments escalate and next thing you know you’re having a full-blown fight.
Lots of people have different ideas of what isn’t and is acceptable, but if you find that your partner is attacking your insecurities, or getting you right where they know it’ll hurt, or swearing at you, or threatening some kind of violence – that’s not normal.
That’s not a typical fight. You should never feel scared or threatened by someone you love, and that’s where you can draw the line between an argument/fight, and red flags that there is actually something very wrong. In cases like that, seek help. You deserve to be happy and safe.
Myth #4: The Honeymoon Phase Is The Best Part
I absolutely can’t stand when people say things like “oh, just wait till you’re out of the honeymoon phase” because, no. Your relationship is not going to die after the honeymoon phase. In fact, in my personal opinion, post-honeymoon phase is the best phase.
Yeah, the honeymoon phase is whimsical and romantic, but have you ever felt the love that comes with being able to sit next to your partner, messy hair and PJs and crumbs on your chin, and still feel like sexy AF because that’s how comfortable you are with each other?
Being weird together is totally the best. Having been together for a few months and losing that initial star-struck gaze is actually so fun, because now you get to be the silly little kid that you are, and they’ll love you all the more for it.
Myth #5: Your Partner Is Also Your Best Friend / Therapist / Body Guard / Defender Of The Universe
Everyone knows someone who says their partner is their best friend. Or you are that person. And if that is you, than that’s pretty cute and wonderful and I’m happy for you. But also, that’s not the case for everyone. The person you are dating doesn’t need to fulfil every role in your life to be perfect for you, and it’s fine if sometimes they wanna hang with other people.
You can still have a best friend who isn’t your lover, and they don’t also have to take care of every single need. It’s good to make sure you have other friends that you value too – that way, you avoid placing too much pressure on each other, and can enjoy and appreciate each other way more.
Dating can be super hard, and it’s not easy when people start bringing up scary assumptions on dating that don’t fit your relo. But don’t worry – keep your communication channels open and know what you guys want, and the rest will be okay. If you need some extra help, check out headspace’s relationship advice right here. Good luck!
Image Source: Fox