Here’s a sentence that I’m sure will be a surprise to no one: rejection sucks. Ghosted? Dumped? Unrequited love? No matter what form it comes in, it stings. We all deal with rejection in different ways. For some people, they manage to pick themselves up, brush off the emotions with a shrug, and keep on keeping on with their lives. For those of us that aren’t god damn robots, rejection is a little harder to get over. We mourn what never was. Start to incessantly stalk their Instagrams. We doubt ourselves and our own merits. Why don’t they want you? Is it because you’re not enough?
No. The harsh reality is that rejection is almost completely unavoidable. It’ll happen to everyone at some point, and there’s not much you can do about it. The only thing you can control is how you respond to it. To help you bounce back from a fragile state, we here at 5why have compiled a list of the best things to do in order to handle rejection.
Allow Yourself to Feel
Shutting yourself off from your emotions, in general, is never a good idea. But it can be almost destructive if you’re not listening to your feelings after a rejection. If you plan on still being friends with the person, ignoring your own emotions can result in some pretty horrible repressed resentment. Recognise that you’re a person, that your feelings are valid, and deal with them accordingly.
Usually, the first reaction to being rejected is to instantly turn the blame on the person. Sure, it’s easy to immediately hate whoever has turned you down. Fun, even. But once that dies down, it’s good to look inwards to yourself. Try and understand what they see (or don’t) in you, from their point of view. It’s a valuable opportunity to look from outside yourself as to how people perceive you. It’s a harmful mindset to resent people that don’t validate you. Accept that people are unique, including yourself, and try to be empathetic to that fact. No one can want and be wanted by everyone.
Tell Yourself it Will Pass
Seems obvious, and, without a doubt, a lot easier said than done. But nothing is more overwhelming than the feeling that maybe you might not ever get over this. This is not true. It might seem like an impossibility, but time truly does heal all wounds. Keep reminding yourself that all things, including what you are going through now, is temporary. You might even be grateful for this experience later, as a learning opportunity.
Asking your loved ones for help can be a little daunting. But there’s no shame in reaching out to those in your inner circle when the weight of it all is becoming too much. It doesn’t even necessarily have to be an in depth heart-to-heart. Sometimes just hanging out with people that understand and love you, without even discussing the rejection, is enough. Surround yourself with people who value you. It’s a sure-fire way to build up that self confidence again.
Learn From It
As stated before, this probably won’t be the last time you’ll be rejected. There’s something strangely liberating about the fact that what you’re going through isn’t unique. It may feel like the be all and end all of life as you know it, but it’s all in your perception. Recognise the pain, and use it as an opportunity to learn and grow. With each following rejection, the time spent dwelling on it will become shorter and more productive. Learn about what areas in you and your life are lacking. Rejection can be a hell of a teacher.