There comes a time where one must make tracks and progress towards their chosen destination, whether that be going out or going home. Who wants to take the car when you may want a few bevs and parking in the city is nuts? No one. Naturally, if it’s late, it’s likely that the busses and trains have said goodnight for the day. So, your next best bet is your trusty Uber driver, there to get you too and from home safely (God willing.) Getting in a car with a stranger requires you to partake in weird forms of conversation. So, here are a few we’ve probably had.
The “Do You Have An Aux Cord, Mate?”
This question is surely asked by the dozen, especially if you’re raring to get your night started. Some of the time, the Uber driver tends to have a few bangers here and there, but in that moment, nothing compares to what you want to put on. With the aux cord comes great responsibility, and possibly the judgement of your driver (that you’ll no doubt try to ignore.) So go ahead, blast Skepta’s That’s Not Me and enjoy the look of surprise grace your driver’s face when you rap it perfectly.
The “How We Broke Up”
You’re having a grand old time with friends when you decide it’s probably time to head home and hit the hay. You gather yourself and wait outside the building, where the fresh air hits your face, and the street is quiet enough that your ears start ringing. Just like clockwork, the reality of your new lack of love life comes to fruition. And of course, your Uber driver pulls over to pick you up, just when you’re on the verge of a crisis. While (barely) maintaining your cool demeanour in front of the stranger at the wheel, they ask how your night’s been. Of course, with the state you’re in, you can’t resist the temptation to dive into a story about how you and your ex broke up.
The “Don’t Talk About My Degree, I’m Living In Avoidance Right Now”
They ask you what you do with your life and of course, you’re reminded of the life you truly lead. One of maximum stress that leaves you feeling like you’re in a daze, and that nothing’s truly tangent. Dramatic? Sure. Accurate? Abso-bloody-lutely. Half the reason why you’re out right now is because you’ve dedicated yourself to living in a world of avoidance, rather than university. Life will be dandy until you wake from your heavy slumber in the morning.
The “2 Minute Mingle”
If you’re making your way home, you may try your luck at having a conversation with the stranger at the wheel. Sometimes, it may just be because you’re bored. Other times though (and the most likely scenario), is that there’s an awkward silence you’ve got the need to fill. What’ll usually make this even more cringe-worthy is that there’ll be some weird music on in the background. You try to analyse why they might think their choice of music is a viable option. But alas, the answer doesn’t exist. The driver might do you one better and play nothing, making the entire ride so uncomfortable you contemplate getting out and walking.
Image source: Bright/ Kauffman/ Krane, Carsey-Werner Productions and The Soda Factory