Whether you’re a guy or a girl, you’ve probably grown up with an idea of society’s ‘dating rules’. Maybe you observed your older siblings, or saw certain expectations play out in every rom com ever. No one knows who invented them or why they exist, but they’re definitely there. You know them. Rules like: never text first. And the guy always has to pay for dinner. Eye roll.
For the most part, if you’re consciously trying to follow these rules, then you’re already too caught up in the hype of finding ‘the one’. Instead, actually try to just enjoy the company of the other person and see if you like them. Dating should be about figuring out what you want. To do that, you can’t follow a set of stock-standard guidelines. So screw the rule book and just be yourself. Here are five rules it’s high time we threw out.
#1 The ‘Three-Date Rule’
Guess what? The mere act of waiting won’t magically create chemistry. Likewise, if you both feel amazing chemistry on a first date, by all means, you’re should be allowed to act on it. Stereotypes labelling you either a prude or too easy are completely outdated and ridiculous. If you both want to have sex on the first date, go for it. If you want to wait weeks or months, that’s okay too. Sex is a thing that needs to be worked out on a case-by-case basis. And if your date doesn’t align with your views on it, then they’re probably not the type of person you want to be with anyway.
#2 Never Date A Coworker
This has never made sense to me, as we spend so much of our time at work. Similarly to fellow students when we were in school or uni, our work colleagues will often naturally become our friends, and sometimes, love interests. It can be hard to find a connection with someone out in the big ole world, so it’s not uncommon that a lot of people find that connection within the circle of people they spend the most time with, and who share similar interests and passions. As long as it’s mutual and doesn’t get in the way of work performance, I say this is a rule that should be canned.
#3 Wait Before Calling Or Texting
In an effort to not seem over-keen, the rule book tells us to wait three days before calling the guy or gal we like. If they text us, we’re supposed to play it cool and wait before replying. It’s about time we ditch the idea of ‘playing hard to get’ and stop overthinking it. If you had a great date, let them know – if they like you back they’ll obviously appreciate not being left in the dark. When it comes to dating, an unedited, natural approach is your best bet.
#4 The Guy Has To Pay
Here’s a little psychology lesson. Money (including who shouts dinner) is often associated with power. Historically, guys have held more financial control and power in a relationship because, well, women didn’t work. But it’s not the 1950s anymore (phew) so the debate of who foots the bill should be entirely up to each individual couple. The ‘should the women or man pay’ debate also doesn’t apply to same-sex relationship dynamics… So it’s obviously a completely antiquated ideal. On a heterosexual date, she can shout the cocktails. He can cover dessert. And you can both split the Uber home. Easy peasy.
#5 Don’t Get Too Heavy Too Soon
They say talking about important topics like politics, religion or what you want out of a relationship is a no-no for the first few dates. You don’t want to come on too strong, right?Wrong. You shouldn’t have to filter down your personality for a date. If you’re passionate, have strong opinions and know exactly what you want, you should show that up front. Your date will either like that about you, or they won’t and you’ll both avoid dating someone who isn’t right.
While some rules are wise to follow (not talking with your mouth full is probably a good one to keep), others are made to be broken. So go forth and become a dating rebel, my friends.
Image Source: Wiktor Karkocha
