Game of Thrones season 3, episode 8: The Long Night spoilers ahead. Read at your own risk.
#1 Why the fuck is it so dark?
Okay, I know, literally everyone has said this already. But seriously, it’s bad enough that it’s worth saying again. I get that they were going for a dark, spooky look but is it really going to scare me if I can’t see it? What are you doing Game of Thrones?! The darkness actually just made it hard to keep track of who was where, and which characters were dead. It wasn’t productive at all to the show, and didn’t add to the vibe. If anything, a cliche thunderstorm could have helped – it would amp up the tension and the random lightning flashes would do wonders for my eyes without taking away from the theme.
#2 How the fuck did Sam survive the White Walkers for hours when the Dothraki lasted a minute?
Watching the lights of the Dothraki go out was one of the scariest and saddest scenes of this series. From season one, they’ve been built up to be the most brutal, deadly army in the show, rivalled by the Unsullied in skill but by no one in ferocity. Now, can someone please explain how an army so violent, vigorous and insane could be taken down in a matter of minutes? The answer is supposed to be because the White Walkers are unstoppable, right? Then how the hell did Samwell Tarly, the biggest nerd, who is absolutely useless with a sword, survive them? The Walkers submerged him, and yet he outlived the Dothraki? Where did the Game of Thrones that we know and love disappear to? Miss me with that unapologetic fan service. We want some realistic deaths and we want them now.
#3 What the hell is going on with Jon’s character?
I’ve never been a huge fan of Jon like so many others are, but no one can say he wasn’t useless in this episode. Why did he need to be flying the dragon? It’s not even like he was controlling where it was going or issuing commands – it seems like he was just on it. And then, he didn’t even defeat the ice dragon, or the Night King. It begs the question, what is going on with his character arc? I know they were trying to subvert his characters heroism, but how much of a hero has he been lately anyway? Now that he didn’t even defeat the big evil, it feels like his character arc is dead. What have they got left for him? Will they finally kill him off seeing as he’s useless?
#4 Why couldn’t Daenarys burn the Night King?
Okay, so everyone was absolutely dying to see the dragons just burn the White Walkers to a crisp. I’m a vegetarian but this barbeque had me more excited than anything could. And yet, when it came down to that final moment, and Daenarys said “Dracarys”… Nothing. He just stood there, looking smug as ever. What the fuck?! Is this some kind of crazy Night King Magic? Or, a more exciting theory, is he a Targaeryan? Are they going to explain that or just ignore it now that he’s dead and the threat is over? Somebody answer me.
#5 The Long Night or the long hour?
Winter is coming… coming… coming… and gone. So, this was apparently the longest battle in TV history, but all I can think is that it was the shortest Winter. I can’t believe that despite saying “Winter is coming” for seven whole seasons, it was gone in 84 minutes. This is just like when Avenger’s Age of Ultron lasted like, 2 days. That’s not an age fam. This seemed a little anti-climatic to all the buildup we’ve had, and the lack of deaths just added to it. None of the main characters died, the most important deaths being just Jorah and Theon (although, my man Theon was definitely a loss).
There’s only 3 episodes of Game of Thrones left, and yet so many characters alive. Is the show just done with killing everyone off, or is the biggest blood bath yet to come?
Image Source: Giphy @GameOfThrones, HBO
