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5 Reasons Mike Baird Won’t Be Missed

As news of Baird’s retirement rolls in this morning, New South Welshmen and women are singing from the rooftops. The premier or self proclaimed nanny state chief officer, ruled over the state with dollar signs in his eyes and casino funnelled cash in his pocket. Forgoing the emerald city’s cultural cultivation in favour of mammoth concrete monstrosities and the clammer of pokies tinkering away, he will not be missed. But in case you forgot the wrecking ball of policies that ravaged our once fine harbour city, we got you. Asta la vista baby, retirement suits you.

#1 Lockout Laws

A knee jerk reaction to awful tragedy closed the city and boarded up once thriving venues under the guise of protection. Issuing a city wide curfew to all adults who dare to stay out past their bedtime. The resulting hardline approach killed our nightlife economy and dampened the spirits of many a burgeoning artist. Not so coincidentally the Baird loved Star Casino was exempt, directing any late night revellers to the mammoth facility as all other lights fell dark post 1.30am.

With Queensland acknowledging the lockout laws lack of effect recently, we can only hope Mikey’s replacement realises the error soon. What Baird and his cronies didn’t count on is the movement of shape cutting youths that took a stand against him. With the third Keep Sydney Open rally on Saturday 21st Jan, in the once vibrant Kings Cross it’s set to be a celebration of his departure. Oh and Flight Facilities are playing, so get on down.

#2 WestConnex

Roads, infrastructure, jobs, transportation. A politician’s bible of buzzwords. But what Baird’s state government offered in grand plans, it neglected in community consultation. Residents lying in the path of the highway project were offered a minuscule amount of notice to vacate and unfair purchase prices. Not to mention the community uproar, council meetings, protests, and petitions were all but ignored in favour of pouring concrete and demolishing heritage properties. Carving it’s way through a cultural hub of Sydney without concern, but you know that’s just how Baird rolls.

#3 Too Many Casinos To Count

Would you like a casino to look out at while you sit at your casino? Well oh boy, does Mike Baird have the  perfect place for you. Bowing to the expensive pressure of gambling magnate and Mariah Carey tomboy James Packer, Barangaroo was built in all it’s high rolling glory. Offering up a prime spot of real estate with stellar views across the harbour and turning it into a gambler’s paradise.

There’s been whispers of corruption, loud whispers, but after Barry O’Farrell’s little wine incident politicians are conducting themselves more carefully than ever. Passing up the opportunity to support small business, community projects or halt the over supply of appartments no average Sydney resident could dream of affording. Good one Casino Mike, you earned that nickname.

#4 Greyhound Racing

And when he did get it right, he backflipped with spectacular political agility. Bowing to the pressure of dog hating, sunburnt tomato Barnaby Joyce and other nationals Mike Baird cowered away from a stellar political move. The greyhound racing industry, marred by animal rights issues and gambling corruption was outlawed by Baird in a move that was heralded.

But the celebration came all to soon, as Baird overturned the decision in a matter of weeks. Did we really expect anything less?

#5 Acute Tone Deafness

Like when your dad starts using Facebook and posts to your wall or uses his status update as a defacto search bar, Baird was a social media novice. His team likely strategised day upon day on ways to make him seem like a cool premier, and were met with a torrent of backlash. He swiftly ignored the cries of the younger generation displaced by his policies as if forgetting the medium he’d chosen to log onto. Turning a street art depiction of his Casino Mike persona to promote graffiti removal day was just one of many.

We’ve diagnosed it as acute tone deafness, a debilitating condition where you’re deaf to the needs of the city or to the outcry of your own constituents. Mike was a political puppet of all new stringy proportion.

From hilarious slippery socks injuries and a general air of entitlement, Mike Baird was the premier no one wanted. At least we had the Betoota Advocate articles to get us through this tough time with a little humour.

Image source: Instagram, Mike Baird’s Facebook, Green Left Org, Music Feeds, Sutherland Shire Leader, Women’s Weekly.

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Editor of 5Why. Avid reader, obsessed traveller, always overdressed, chronically indecisive and nostalgic 20-something.

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