Dating is hard, it’s complicated, and it can be amazing when you actually find someone you vibe with. But until then, you’ve gotta weed out and dump all the red flags to find you a boo that’s worth swiping for. And, yes that’s the sucky and long part.
Do any of us ever know what the hell we’re doing when it comes to dating? Debatable. But, we are in this together, and our collective dating misadventures have at least given us wisdom, if nothing else. We’ve partnered up with headspace as part of our Swipe Right series to help you guys suss out which dates you should probs get rid of ASAP, because you deserve good things and we’re gonna help you find them.
#1 They Don’t Ask You Any Questions
Have you found yourself with a cutie who you know basically everything about (stalking skills on point), but they don’t seem to remember anything about you? Big no-no. If you seem to be going at lengths to get to know your potential bae, and they don’t seem interested in asking the same questions about you and your childhood, interests, hobbies, etc then you probs should find a new flirt. Asking questions and displaying an interest in getting to know you is a sign that someone genuinely digs you and sees something with you – hence the suss out. If they’re not particularly keen to get to know you, then they should get to know the door.
#2 They’re Flaky
They don’t value your time. Honestly, that’s all there is. Sometimes unexpected things happen and you gotta bail, but if this is a regular occurrence then they’re just not that into you and it’s time to find a new flirt to spend your (very valuable) time with. You don’t need to waste your time bending over backwards to be accessible to someone who has no intention of taking you seriously – thank u, next.
#3 They’re Constantly Derailing You When You Talk About Serious Stuff
Of course, maybe in the early stages of the flirty banter, expecting serious conversations all the time is probably not going to work out too well. BUT, once you guys actually become familiar with each other, it’s likely to come up here and there. If there’s some serious talks you wanna have, and they keep dodging and derailing you, it’s probably time for a conversation about what you’re after. Maybe they aren’t ready for this stage yet, and it’s cool if ya wanna wait. But if it’s just them being emotionally flaky, despite you always being there for them, then it’s time to let go.
#4 They Joke About Your Insecurities
This one is a tricky one, because banter exists and we all love a good roast. But that being said, there’s a pretty thin line between banter and bullying, and you need to remember to keep it in check. If you find yourself feeling hurt or insecure about yourself after the jokes your flirt makes, then it’s time to talk about it. Banter is meant to be funny – if it’s making you sad or anxious, then it needs to go.
Try talking about it first, because it could be that they just don’t understand the impact they have on you. But if they’re defensive and saying the dreaded “OMG, can’t you take a joke” then it’s time to make a move. Find yourself someone who you can joke and have a great time with, without the insecurities afterwards.
#5 They Only See You When They’re Drunk / In the AMs / When They’re Lonely
Big red flag right here, guys. Wanting a flirt just for a hook up is fine, but if you feel like you genuinely like someone yet they only want you when they’re bored or needy, it’s time to reconsider chasing it. You want to make sure you aren’t having your time wasted. No one likes being a rebound, or being used. If your boo only wants you when it’s convenient to them, it’s time to jet. Bye Felicia, we’re out here knowing our self worth and only chasing people who genuinely like and value us. ?
Knowing when to dump someone is super tricky, and there’s so many different factors at play. These are some red flags to watch out for, but if you’re still unsure of what to do, head to headspace and have a look at their relo advice for some sneaky tips of managing the dating game. Good luck and may the odds be ever in your favour!