Dating is super exciting, but honestly, catching the feels can also really hurt. None of us ever know what we’re doing, and dating can be such a hit or miss. It’s easy to get caught up in the emotions of it all, and lose sight of what you really want. Here are 5 things to watch out for, to keep you on your toes and stop you from getting played.
#1 They’re Flaky
This one seems pretty obvious, but it’s amazing how long you’ll keep trying to catch someone you love. Is your partner constantly bailing on you? Are they always changing plans, delaying them, or having something else important come up? Unless they’re a cardiovascular surgeon that has to rush off every now and then to save lives, they should have time to see you. There’s definitely no good reason for you to get stood up without notice, and very few excuses even with notice.
Find someone who’s willing to make time for you and prioritise you, otherwise you might end up in a relationship where you feel insecure and ignored. Everyone wants to feel important and cared about by the person they’re with, and you should definitely maintain that as a criteria.
#2 They Make Fun Of Your Insecurities
There’s a thin line between joking and bullying. It can be fun to tease each other, or make some spicy comments for the bants. If you find yourself feeling hurt and betrayed over comments on stuff you told your partner in confidence, then that’s not just banter. You’re supposed to trust the person you’re dating and feel safe around them, so if they’re making you feel shit, that’s unhealthy. Don’t feel embarrassed or avoid saying anything – set your boundaries on what’s okay to joke about and what isn’t. It’s okay to protect your mental health and you absolutely should never feel bullied by the person you’re dating.
#3 They Always Talk About Their Ex To You
Yikes. Run away fam, this is never a good sign. It’s okay for people to occasionally talk about their exes – our relationships are defining part of our lives. There are lots of important life events you’ll share with a partner before potentially breaking up, and it’s okay to talk about it and reminisce a bit. Sometimes our exes also fuck us over, and talking about it is part of the emotional healing. However, if you feel like you’re constantly talking about how they loved hanging out with their ex partner, or that they *shudder* compare you two, then you def should open up that can of worms. It’s not healthy to always have a past relationship hanging over your head, and it’s even worse to feel like you have to compete with it.
#4 They’re Possessive To The Point Where It Impacts Your Other Relationships
Being a little jealous of your partners’ other important priorities and relos is pretty normal. It happens, and none of us are saints. However, if it’s getting to the point where the person you’re dating is straight up not letting you hang out with your other friends, or even spend too much time with your family, then you need to get out of there ASAP. Them not wanting you to hang with your ex is one thing – stopping you from hanging with close friends and family tho? Absolute yikes. You’re looking for a partner, not an anxious parent, and you’re definitely entitled to choosing your own friends and bed time.
#5 They Refuse To Talk About Your Issues
All the above points are things that can piss us off, but I definitely live by the rule that open communication is the key to a healthy relationship. If you talk about what’s bothering you, trust each other and share, you can usually work whatever difference you have out. So, if your partner doesn’t wanna talk about your problems or even acknowledge them, then it’s a sure sign of a dysfunctional relationship. Talking about your issues is the best way to solve them, so if they don’t want to do that, then how much do they care about your relationship?
Of course, don’t make any rash decisions, but it is okay to give up on trying to fix something when it feels like you’re doing all the work or that you aren’t valued. Stay honest and true to yourself, and choose to surround yourself by people who make you feel happy and loved. If the person you’re dating doesn’t fit there, well… you know what to do.
Image Source: Giphy, NBC.