Look, every girl has them, every girl gets them, love it or hate it – periods suck, period!
But instead of hating on them, (because let’s be real every girl bitches about them allllllll the time), let’s talk about every person you become when it’s that glorious time of the month. You may either be one of the types below, maybe two of them or all bloody five. But you know what, that’s totally okay because every month or so you deserve it girl.
#1 The “Eat Til You Drop”
This girl is HUNGRY I tell ya. All of a sudden she gets her period and boom, she’s devoured half of Woolies. We’re talking lunch, dinner and then ten extra late-night snacks. Overdramatic you say? No, just the goddam honest truth. It gets to the point where no matter how many trips you make to the pantry, you just never seem to find whatever in the world that you’re craving. Chocolate is a must, peanut butter or vegemite, then half a millisecond later you feel like pizza, or whatever Maccas ad is playing on TV, Uber eats three seconds after etc. It ain’t easy, I feel that.
#2 The “Blame Everything On Your Period”
Woke up late? “Yeah look it’s because of my period”.
Didn’t do the wash? “Yeah look my period”
Late for work? “Yeah sorry like it’s my period”
Forgot your best friends birthday? “F*** I blame my period!
Spent over $100 online on the most irrelevant products? “Yeah look I got my period O K A Y! ”
You start blaming every tiny yet important obstacle in your life on your period. Your period becomes the excuses, the blames, the lows, the highs and the middles in that week or so.
#3 The “Idgaf I’m Wearing White”
This girl is confident, she doesn’t conform to black clothes, pffft. This girl is bold, strong, and lives life on the edge. She’s the type of girl who would bungee jump in a foreign country where she doesn’t speak the native language. She’s the type of girl who orders extra chilly on her pad thai and doesn’t squirm one bit.
This girl is and will be wearing white, even if mother nature obliges her not too. She doesn’t give a single fuck if she’s got her period, she will scrape through and wear those skinny white jeans with pride, or that a-line white skirt. She knows what she’s doing and ain’t nobody stopping her.
#4 The “Change Into A Different Emotion Every Minute”
Look if you’re this girl, you deserve it, babe. But if you’re also this girl, I feel sorry for whoever deals with you (I know I would when I’m like this).
You kind of become this monster, you don’t know who you are in times like this. One minute you’re crying over dog photos on facebook, the next you’re raging at your roommate for asking you one of the world’s most simple questions; “Are you okay?”.
You’re at that point where you don’t even know how to answer that question, honestly, your hormones are raging all over the place, and you’re shifting into different moods left, front and centre. Your body is going through a period in time (ha get it, period), where it’s reacting to tiny little things in the most dramatic and absurd ways. But hey welcome to womanhood, it’s gon keep continuing sista.
#5 The “Netflix & Chill With Me, Myself & I”
“Take a break hun“, is what you tell yourself.
“You deserve this”, another thing you tell yourself.
You either take the day off work or simply spend your free day as a ghost, laying in bed, not moving a single bone if your body. Your body is in pain, and you know that your only option is to whip out the Netflix, and binge, binge, binge. In turn, it works out quite well, you either fall asleep watching episode after episode, or you’re slowly but surely getting more comfier and eager into your screen. Either way, you’ve substituted your day off work for a lovely date with yourself and Mr Netflix, and you don’t need anything else better in your life at the moment.