We’ve all been there, right? You’ve been with your partner for a while now and things in the bedroom just aren’t heating up the way they used to. It’s not that either of you don’t want to have a good time after hours, and sometimes you can’t even think of a reason as to why you’re not doing it.
Maybe you’ve just grown too comfortable with one another and the excitement isn’t there anymore? Maybe you had too much sex at the start and you’ve run out of things to do?
Maybe your partner even has that one annoying habit when it comes to getting down and dirty that you (or they) just can’t shake. It’s a hard thing to overcome but don’t worry; I promise there’s a cure. So here are a few sneaky tips to help increase those sexy times with your loved one.
Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby!
Sex is a really important part of any relationship and when you’re not having it, it’s easy to feel like you’re not connecting. But it’s not time to call it quits! Are they doing something in bed that doesn’t turn you on? Is there something they could do differently that would drive you crazy?
If you’re not getting as riled up as you used to, speak up. None of us are mind readers, and a subtle hint or piece of feedback never goes astray. They don’t say communication is key for no reason.
Take Some Time To Figure Out The Real Issue
As we just touched on, your partner isn’t going to know how to decode the message you’re conveying through sighs and eye-rolls. They’re probably not even aware that something is bothering you in the first place.
So figure out why you’re not connecting. If you’re still internally fuming from the things they did a week ago then sex isn’t going to be easy, nor pleasant.
Get everything out on the table. Get angry about it. Cry about it if you have to. The point is to get whatever emotion you’re feeling out in the open. You can’t expect your relationship to grow and progress if there’s no communication there.
Especially not in the bedroom.
Disconnect To Reconnect
In a long-term relationship you grow so used to each other and spending time together may not be as exciting as it used to. Sure, you’re in bed together, but are you really spending any time together?
I think we’re all guilty of this but come on, there’s nothing more irritating than watching a movie with someone who is on their phone the whole time. Don’t be that guy, especially not to your partner!
Take the time to put your phone down and focus on your partner. Ask them about more than just their day. Spur on a conversation about conspiracy theories or vent to them about that annoying thing your co-worker keeps doing. Watch a film together, take them out to dinner, or go on a late night trip to the beach. Put in the effort to engage with your partner and connect again.
The Way To Doing It Is… Not Doing It
I know you may think this defeats the purpose of trying to get your sex life back on track but maybe what you and your partner need is to build up some of that good ol’ sexual tension that you lost somewhere along the way.
If you work your partner up a little and then don’t follow through with sex, I can assure you that the sexual tension between the two of you will be unbearable.
Sure it may result in a bit of temporary blue balls, but by the time you reach your breaking points, you’ll hopefully build up that need. Teasing shouldn’t just be for dating.
Take Some Time Apart
This one seems a little drastic. Don’t freak out. It’s perfectly normal. We’re all very afraid of that five letter word, aren’t we? Space.
But when you’re spending every second together it becomes very easy to feel like you have no freedom or room to breathe. So naturally things in the bedroom could become a little stunted.
You may find that some time away from your partner will really improve your sex life and overall relationship. Crash on your mates couch or stay at your parents for a few days. By the time you see your partner again, you won’t be able to keep your damn hands off of them!