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All Of The Tinder Categories You Don’t Want To Be In

When it comes to the first initial download and you’re not quite close enough to start swiping, the most vital part of joining an online dating app is setting up your profile. But alas, it’s not quite as simple as picking your best photos and adding some basic wit. Now think of it this way. Imagine you are looking through a Kmart catalogue. You can pretty much breakdown online dating into the following characteristics of said brochure.

The Kids

These people are the ones that only add poor quality photos of them drinking, laughing and having fun, so of course these images are flooded with lots and lots of other people. Look I’m not saying that this is a bad thing but it does get a little annoying when the only pictures of the person is of them in nightclubs and you’ll find it a little overwhelming trying to decipher which person is actually the one who has set up the profile. There’s nothing wrong with this, however the impression of setting up a profile such as this screams party-goer, nothing serious and even ‘player’ vibes (what ever that is). Few people dig this but hey if that’s who you are you’ll only attract the same type of person.

The Toys

You can spot these people straight away without even reading their profile. They’re the ones that upload pictures of them up close and personal with members of the opposite sex. We understand if a cute picture of you at the park with you sister and maybe a couple of other relos is thrown up, but when you’ve got your arms around a guy/girl and you’re looking deeply into their eyes, please spare the rest of us. These members of the dating clan usually have a description associated with such pics. Think awfully funny (yet not actually sarcastic) joke, ie ‘I tell good bedtime stories. I can TUCK you in ;)’. Next.

The Kitchen Tools

Here we’re talking about those who live in selfie land. If every photo you upload is of you with your tongue out posing on your bed or in the bathroom mirror in little clothing then there is only one vibe you’re dishing out here – narcissistic. Who wants to be with someone or even go out on a date with a person who will only be interested in themselves? Boring right? So at least try not to do this. Mix it up a little. And if you want to connect with people in more ways please don’t just add your Snapchat account, try Instagram too.

The Gym Department

This bunch is pretty self-explanatory. Selfie at the gym, pic of you running in a marathon, close up of you and your buddies completing an obstacle course and perhaps you drinking what appears to be a protein shake. Yep then you know what their description is going to say, ‘Gym| Outdoors| Personal Trainer’. And its not complete without a few running men and weight emojis. Do I need to be any more detailed? We’ve all seen these ones.

The Adults

Although they can be a bit intimidating for those of us who are younger or do not deem ourselves as “successful”, these profiles include the persons occupation, straight-up-front with what they are looking for in their description and an array of photos at corporate events. Maybe one of them on a bushwalk, having a laugh with a pet and at a mates chilling or away on a killer holiday. These people look like they have the whole packaged deal. You start thinking what else could possibly make their life any better. These types of thoughts usually steer people into the direction of swiping left. If you’ve got everything and you haven’t left any mystery in your description how do you expect someone to leap at the chance to find out more about you? Even if you are successful, leave some mystery out there.

I’m sure we could continue listing the different types of personalities that can be found in the vast catalogue of potential bachelors and bachelorettes online, but the trick to being successful is to be you. Yeah it sounds cliche, but show the pictures that most represent the type of person you are.

Write your favourite quote in your description or little bit about yourself, and be witty without being gross. Don’t be generic be you. Add your Instagram handle to show people you are actively online and living your life the way you want. If you look good in that selfie you took at the beach include it, but make sure they’re not all just of you. And always leave some mystery to your profile. You want your suitors to be intrigued about you and thus that way you don’t fall into the trap of being labelled in any one of the above categories.

The online dating world is large and confusing. Don’t play a character because what you exude you’ll only receive in return.

Happy swiping lovers!

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