Airports are such strange places. I don’t know if there is ever a mix of such completely different people in one area, anywhere else. If you’re a people watcher, like me, I can guarantee you have seen all of these types of people getting on your flight. And chances are if you’ve been to an airport and haven’t seen one, you probably are that one…
The Woman In Activewear
The woman in her activewear looks like she has literally grabbed her Louis Vuitton tote and came straight to the airport from Pilates. She’s probably sipping a green juice and she’s definitely wearing her AirPods. And for some reason she’s always in a rush? The woman in active wear NEVER takes the escalators, she prefers the stairs because every day is cardio day.
The Person Who’s Either Hungover Or Just Really Freaking Tired
This person could be a man or woman and it’s hard to tell really because they will be completed cloaked by their oversized track pants and hoodie. They probably have sneakers on or occasionally Ugg boots. They have some chronic bed head going on while they are spread out like an eagle on the floor near their gate, trying to catch some more ZZZs.
The Backpacker Couple
For some reason the backpacking couple are so stupidly annoying with their giant packhorse looking backpacks and their hiking boots. They kinda smell a bit funky and they probably have bandages on their fresh tattoos that they got in Barcelona. Also they both have a medical condition that prohibits them from ever letting go of each other’s hands.
The businessman has to wear a full suit on his business class flight, because what the hell else would he wear to sit down in a confined space for 10 hours?! In the airport he’s constantly on the phone. Does he ever hang up? No. He may get out his laptop to check some emails while having a drink at the airport bar though.
The Woman Who Dresses Like She’s In First Class But Is Really In Economy
She’s whipped out her Sunday best for her economy flight to Bali. She has a full face of perfect makeup, her hair is done up and she’s got her heels on. She’s also brought along her fake designer bag she purchased on her last trip to Bali. Her look is almost foolproof until she walks past the priority boarding and into the economy line.
The Parents Who Have Absolutely No Control Over Their Children
Their four little Rug Rats are screaming their tiny heads off and everyone else at the gate seems to hear it but the parents themselves. The kids have food stains and slobber all over them but the Dad keeps thinking maybe one more banana will shut the kid up. Your children don’t want another banana, Dad, just give them the iPad and let us all relax!
The Boys Trip
They’re in their twenties or thirties but they’re probably behaving like they’re fresh eighteen-year-olds about to go on schoolies. You’ll find this group of men in the airport bar, or if they’re not in the bar they will be on their way to the bar, saying things like, “think it’s beer o’clock boys.” Don’t worry about not hearing them, they will be speaking several decibels louder than the average voice. Any women walking past them should be prepared to be thoroughly visually examined and whistled at.
The 19-Year-Old Sheepishly Asking Airport Staff For An Upgrade
They’re on their way back home after a month of Contiki tours and Sail Croatia. They can’t remember their last shower or the their last consecutive eight hours of sleep. Without making any eye contact with the lady behind the check in desk, they awkwardly ask, “is business full?” They give it their all in their final shot at an upgrade by saying, “my Dad is a Platinum Frequent Flyers member ?…”
Image Sources: GIPHY, Bwark Productions