All The Lies We’ve Absolutely Definitely Told On A First Date

“Work was just so busssy it was too tough.”

We’ve all done it. Whether it be creating a whole new persona for ourselves whilst on a date with a complete stranger, or simply crapping on about excuses as to why you never want to see that person again, lying simply just happens. I mean dating is an art form, and when you’re more comfortable at home watching Netflix than out with a crush, bluffing your way through can sometimes be the solution.

A little white lie never hurt anyone, but when you’ve created a whole web of them on a first date, well things can get problematic. Nothing wrong with talking yourself up, but if you’ve told them you’ve traveled all through Asia, despite your photo files telling otherwise, get ready for a little bit of trouble to follow.

“My last relationship ended cause we simply just grew apart…”

The truth: My last relationship ended because my ex was a cheating arsehole who emotionally scarred me and now I’m scared to get back into a new relationship.

Why the lie: Cause the thought of bringing up the trauma of a breakup on the first date is gonna make them deter me 100%. No one likes emotional baggage talk after five minutes of knowing a person.

“You look even better than your Bumble profile!”

The truth: You didn’t even recognise them when they walked in, they look about five years older and ten centimetres shorter. Did they send their random single mate in place?

Why the lie: You don’t want to come across as shallow or rude. Sure not everyone has to look exactly like their photos – but when the differences are super visible, I mean a little lie is better than a subsequent insult.

“Yeah I love working out too, I’m all about that healthy lifestyle.”

The truth: You have been paying for a gym membership for over two years yet you’ve barely stepped foot near it. The thought of replacing a night of trashy reality TV for a workout sickens you.

Why the lie: You simply want to impress the person. If they like fitness, so do you. Hey, it could even become a habit together if things work. Just make sure they don’t realise you can’t even do a push up without needing to collapse.

“Omg I traveled there too. Didn’t you just love, uh, that cool beach?!”

The truth: You could never even afford to travel there. Your life savings wouldn’t even get you a night at the hotel they stayed at. The closest you got to the luxurious getaway to Hawaii they were raving about was a quick trip to Melbourne for the weekend.

Why the lie: You want to come off as well cultured and traveled. You don’t have much else to talk about so you may as well spin a little bullshit on this boring first date.

“I don’t usually drink a lot… this is such a treat for me.”

The truth: You’ll catch me with a cold one the minute I get home from work. Nothing like a wind down drink or two. Friday arvo bevvies, watch out.

Why the lie: You don’t want to reveal your true love of alcohol too soon, leaving the wrong impression might look bad.

“I really gotta make a move, my friend needs me to feed their pet rabbit before I head home, cause they’re out and all…”

The truth: You need to get the hell out of this first date cause this person is bat shit insane/boring you to bits/just plain creepy.

Why the lie: You don’t want to be completely blunt to this complete stranger that seems totally invested in your night thus far.

“I’m super busy at the moment, work is so challenging and I love it.”

The truth: You have a super boring job that you receive no fulfilment from. You’d quit but, well, money.

Why the lie: Coming across as put together is more important to you right now. You want to create the allusion that you have your shit together.

“This has been one of the most interesting and amazing first dates I’ve ever been on.”

The truth: It wasn’t that amazing, but maybe the flattery will allow you to score another. Cause you’re looking for someone to love, let’s be real.

Why the lie: Again, the flattery. Keep that person feeling special. It’s a first date after all.

Image Source: Paramount Pictures, Comedy Central, Walt Disney, NBC.

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