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All Of The Awful People You’ll Encounter On Public Transport

The commute too or from work (or other particular destinations) is often an interesting one. No two days are the same, it seems. While we’re trying to stay calm enough not to pop a blood vessel or cry of tiredness on a Monday morning (or any day of the week, we’ve all been there), certain people make this extremely difficult. Here are some of the people you may (totally will) come across on public transport.

The ‘Self-Appointed DJ’

It’s pretty likely that we’ve all been this person, however being an onlooker provides us with a new-found sense of rage. A self-appointed DJ is a human being that turns their music up so damn loud, that you can hear it through their headphones. It always seems to be men in suits, which gives us even more confusion because you assume they’d be reserved in nature. However, the music never matches the persona, as it always seems to be hard-core EDM. Sometimes, if you’re really lucky, you may even get a bunch of teenagers with a UE Boom speaker, playing half-assed rap.

The ‘Obnoxious Spreader’

Like toddlers who can’t draw inside the lines, some adults seem to have an issue with remaining in their designated seat of choice, without veering off to one side. You’ll find these people on the commute home, when patience is running on empty and common etiquette seems to have disappeared. You’ll be minding your own business, when suddenly you have another person’s leg unapologetically brushing up against yours, taking over your seat. Ah yes, after a long day this is exactly what we want; human contact from a stranger.

The ‘Bag-On-Seater’

Picture this: you’re on a crowded train or bus and from a certain angle, there’s a spare seat available. This seems like it’s too good to be true, right? Hah, jokes on you, punk, it is too good to be true. As you half shuffle to the seat you so desperately want, you find that it’s already been taken.. by a bag. Sometimes they see you and are polite enough to move it, but if they’re in rare form that day, they’ll look you in the eye and keep the bag next to them.

The ‘Talker’

Why anyone wants to chat to strangers on transport is completely beyond my grasp. Most people just want to get to their destination without too much commitment or thought, but some people are too cheery for silence. The next thing you know, is that you’re talking about the price of bananas and the reasons behind why they went from $1.99 per kilo to $3.50. By the time you get off PT, you’ve exerted all your energy on making sure you look interested.

The ‘Splutterer’

If you don’t encounter someone coughing without covering their mouth, did you even take public transport? This is particularly horrid, but it happens for some God-forsaken reason. Due to the crammed nature of most trains and busses, there’s nowhere else to run too if this chaos occurs. You just have to sit there, take it, and try not to vomit in your own mouth when you think about the germs gravitating towards you. Yes, this is you living your best life, congrats.

Image source: Gracie Films and NBC

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