Dan Andrews Says It’s Time For Victoria To Get On The Beers And Go Shopping At Kmart Again


Dan Andrews has confirmed that it is, indeed, time to get on the beers after Victoria recorded zero new cases of COVID-19 and zero deaths.

Happy Donut Day, you absolute champions!

At this afternoon press conference, the Victorian Premier donned his famous North Face jacket and put out the good word to the state: restrictions are easing from midnight, Tuesday.

That means that retail and hospitality businesses will be reopening after months and plenty of thirsty Melburnians will be able to return to their local watering holes. Eligible businesses will be subject to patron density limits – they are allowed to serve 50 patrons outdoors, and 20 indoors. They must also keep a register of visitors, and enact their COVIDSafe plans.

After his joyous announcement, one journalist asked the question on everyone’s lips: does that mean we can get back on the beers?

Now that’s real journalism.


“I don’t know if I’ll be drinking a beer tonight,” Andrews said and cracked a smile for the first time I in months.

He’s obviously familiar with the iconic Mashd N Kutcher remix of one of his earlier pressers.

“I might go a little higher up the shelf.”

And, you know what, I reckon everyone else should be reaching for the top shelf, too. Treat yourself, Victorians, you deserve it.

The happy news comes after months of strict lockdowns, curfews and restrictions that has, eventually, led to the state’s first zero day since June.

Victorians were quick to jump on the Donut Day train, creating the new Toilet Paper-gate but with donuts. Supermarket shelves around Melbourne were left bare.

The easing of restrictions also means that retail stores will be open meaning that, oh yeah, Kmart is back, baby.

This is the first huge win for Victoria – not only being allowed to get out and shop for pointless shit at Kmart again. It might just spell the beginning of borders re-opening and everyone getting on the beers with their interstate mates once more.

I’m gonna go buy an esky on special from Kmart and fill it up with beers in solidarity.

Go off Victoria, go off.

Image Sources: Twitter (peterpeerapat)

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