Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity
to seize everything you ever wanted, one moment
would you capture it or let it slip?
I am no rap god in any sense but I couldn’t help but relate Eminem’s Lose Yourself to meeting your girl/boyfriends parents for the first time.
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy…
On my way to meet my boyfriends parents I was a little nervous (meaning a lot) and very conscious of making a good impression. Even after many reassurances from my significant other, it didn’t make it any easier. Walking to the front door, here it goes…
He’s nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to drop bombs…
You’re always faced with the ‘do I go for the handshake or kiss them hello… oh god – one or two kisses?!’ I look relaxed on the surface but I’m pretty sure my mind imploded at the door. Keep an eye out for body language to avoid the awkward hand shake jumbled with hug.
You’re obviously a pretty special person to have your partner wanting to introduce you to his parents so don’t feel like you need to put on a big show.
He opens his mouth, but the words won’t come out…
When I’m nervous, I fail to actually make coherent sentences:
“So Dominique what do you do?”
“I go to uni… well I finished but I still… um… submarine”
There’s no doubt that when your partner brings you home, it feels as if the spotlight is all on you to drop some sick beats to impress and prove that you are a worthy of dating their child. Once you get over the initial stress, and lucky for me I realised my bf’s parents were super easy going and just overall amazing, you realise that the stress was unwarranted. But in the interim your mind races around questions like ‘what if they don’t like me?’ Or ‘what if I embarrass myself?’
I’ve found in the past that meeting their parents and family can be not only a huge step, but also a difficult element to walk away from, should you two call it quits. It’s important that you don’t volunteer to meet their parents if you have no intentions to stick around.
In true ‘Dominique Style’ I’ve made a nice list of Do’s and Don’ts to make your meet and greet as smooth enough that you can lose yourself in the moment:
+ Bring something with you: I always like to bring something little along with me. Biscuits, bottle of wine or chocolates. I find it’s a nice gesture, plus it gives my hands something to hold so I don’t fidget when I walk in.
+ Smile: For those of you who suffer from BRF (Bitchy Resting Face) like me, be sure you are mindful that his/her parents may find it a little strange if you look like you want to punch someone in the face whilst drinking your coffee.
+ Elaborate on your answers:
“I’ve been told you went to Europe last year, what was that like?”
When I’m nervous I don’t realise that I keep my answers super short, and this is no way to keep a conversation flowing. They aren’t monsters so remind yourself that they actually want to get to know you (or at least pretend to.)
+ Minimise PDA: Leave the cheesy pet names and PDA at the front door. No parent wants to see their child sticking their tongue down their partner’s throat or you calling out to your ‘Snookums’. It’s disrespectful and just screams unclassy. Even if your own parents wouldn’t care, use this meet to gauge what type of people his/her parents and go from there.
– Dress like you’re going to the Ivy on Saturday night: I’m talking stilettos, tight dresses or OTT make up. First impressions can be lasting so I always go by ‘less is more’ in this department: less make up, less cleavage, less big hair. Remember you’re going to someone’s house so dress respectfully and you can never go wrong.
– Sit on your phone: I’m sure they’d appreciate seeing you sitting on Facebook whilst they talk to you, or taking a million selfies on snap chat #meetingtheparents. A lot of us have fallen into the trap of checking our phones constantly and this comes across as rude and as if you’re disinterested. Pop your phone on silent and put it away until you leave.
– Add them on FB when you walk out the door: To add or not to add? No matter how amazing the meet went, don’t feel the need to add them on Facebook 30 seconds after you leave. Leave it for a couple of subsequent visits. And be sure if you do decide to add them, be mindful that they’ll see everything you post.
You’re obviously a pretty special person to have your partner wanting to introduce you to his parents so don’t feel like you need to put on a big show. And just remember as Mr Mathers says, you can do anything you set your mind to, man.