Source: FOX
So I bet I know what you’re thinking, ‘who does she think she is, Carrie Bradshaw?’ Well although one can be hopeful, rest assured this isn’t another Sex and the City spin off. As I’ve gotten older, and had more interactions with guys (this was stunted for many years seeing as I attended an all girls Catholic High School) I’ve come to notice that many of us share similar stories about the guys we’ve met, fallen in love with, or have had our heart broken by.
Your dating life can be the best and yet most overwhelming confusing time of anyone’s life. It’s Not You is a woman’s take on the modern day man and our interactions with them. Sometimes we’re left shuffling through our ‘My Life Sucks’ playlist on iTunes constantly wondering what we did wrong. INU is dedicated to reassuring you that although we are strong independent women who don’t need no man (cue Destiny’s Child soundtrack) you’re not alone in your quest for your Jack Dawson, Noah Calhoun or Danny Zuko.
Cue entry numero uno.
When I say he disappeared off the face of the earth, I’m talking vanished, never to be seen or heard from again.
The stage is set, lighting and mirrors in position cue the smoke, now you see him, now you don’t. Houdini, Copperfield, Criss Angel… all men who have made a living with disappearing acts and illusions, and whilst it’s entertaining for some, it’s not so great when you’re on the receiving end.
I think I’m the only person who hates magicians and illusionists, often left feeling furious and confused rather than intrigued and entertained after a show. I always seem to be looking around the stage rather than the main event, maybe there’s a mirror on the left, is that a secret trap door? So to say I was a little confused after I was invited to my very own personal magic show is an understatement.
Stay with me here.
Here is some context. My mum and I frequently visit our local café for our daily coffee hit and a little bonding time, a tradition we’ve made to keep up to date with each other’s busy lives. I would be lying if I said one of the waiters didn’t catch my eye, ok to be honest he is quite a delight to look at (and he knows it) so when mum suggested we go for coffee, rarely did I turn down the offer.
After one of my visits, it was obvious he couldn’t resist me any longer (that’s the angle I’m taking) he struck up a conversation and by the time I got home I had a new friend request to attend to on Facebook. Social media chatting turned to texting, which lead to calls and then meeting up for dinner and lets just say we began to hang out quite frequently.
Having just come out of a pretty long relationship I was hesitant to jump into another one but was happy with a new friend to hang out with. Keeping my guard up and approaching with caution it appeared he was little more keen then I was; inviting me to meet the parents over lunch, paying for dinners, having people approach me asking how he was (Unless Gossip Girl was in operation I was not the one telling people about ‘us’ whatever ‘us’ meant) we were pretty much an item without the label. We fell into a bit of a routine of texting everyday and I was happy with how it was all going and really enjoyed his company.
And then, with the wave of my magic wand, Abra Cadabra he’s gone! When I say he disappeared off the face of the earth, I’m talking vanished, never to be seen or heard from again. I didn’t invest much into the relationship emotionally so when it happened I wasn’t heartbroken, but more curious as to finding out what happened.
As every girl does, I debriefed with my girlfriends and their reasons ranged from “he clearly doesn’t know what he wants,” “maybe he thought it was moving too fast” and “maybe he’s just a dickhead.” All possible. But the most reassuring, yet confronting thing is that this has happened to so many women in the past and I wasn’t alone.
I’ve been to the café a few times since and have received the awkward hello or smile but as it stands he pretty much could be a stranger. Getting a very one-sided perspective of the situation, I spoke to my best friend (who happens to be of the male species) and asked his opinion. Initially he told me to not overthink it too much, maybe he was busy and hadn’t had time to reply. I knew he was right but it sucked to admit it (it’s not always fun having a logical and rational friend who sees the world clearly) but as the days rolled into weeks he agreed that he didn’t deserve the consideration and that I could do better (well I already knew that.)
Still yet to receive an explanation and after a couple of attempts to sort it out, I think he’s done me a favour by tapping out early. Meeting new people and relationships are meant to be a fun and exciting time in your life, we shouldn’t have to look for the mirrors and trap doors but rather be totally captivated by the main event. All a woman craves is a man who knows what he wants not a boy trying to woo you with his tricks and games. To all the boys gentlemen out there, put away your capes and top hats – it’s time to man up.
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