Whether you’re a swiping fiend, or you like to take your chances in the real world, dating isn’t easy. Whoever and whatever you’re into, finding a significant other can be a mind-boggling mystery. Just when you think you’ve got it all figured out, something happens that throws you completely off-course.
So navigating another’s feelings, especially someone you’ve just met can be incredibly tricky. But we’ve done the hard work for you, and got the lowdown straight from the horse’s mouth.
Hot Tips For The Fellas
Confidence Really IS Key.
“If you go say ‘hi’ to someone at a bar or a café and they ignore you, what’s the worst thing that could happen? Life will go on. There are so many opportunities out there and who knows what will become available because of that ‘no’ – or a ‘yes’.”
“A good listener doesn’t listen to respond. They listen to learn about the other person’s experience. A bad listener focuses on their own experience. This is absolutely why guys get rejected or have bad dates. They don’t ask follow-up questions and show that they want to learn more about you.
And when they do listen, they act like they’re doing it because they have to, and then the next thing they say shows they really paid no attention to your words.”
Keep First Dates Casual
“Keep the first date cheap and simple. A first date is just a screening process. Not a romantic event. Choose an easy, relaxed activity that doesn’t have to take more than half an hour. A drink, a coffee, a ice cream and a walk in the park, whatever. Somewhere cozy is ideal.
But that doesn’t mean the date has to be dull. Use the date as an opportunity to go somewhere new to both of you. There are unique spots in every city; so check them out.”
“Guys can be pretty generic – they’ve got the same pickup lines, the same chat, and even the same self-involvement. If you’re going on a date try something that is outside of the norm (think a cocktail making class rather than a beer at a pub). Don’t get to know her by asking about her job, ask about her irrational childhood fear or her favourite Disney film. Then you’re sure to stand out.”
P.S. If you need to expand your pick-up line vocabulary, we’ve got it covered.
Treat Her As An Equal.
“A lot of women don’t like to be put on a pedestal, and that’s what most ‘nice guys’ do because they think that’s what they want. You’re not being nice, you’re being a dick.
You need to genuinely create a bond based on mutual respect. Not putting her up o a pedestal, becasue we really don’t want that. Any girl who wants to be treated like a princess isn’t worth your time, because she’s gonna get bored of you very quickly.”
And For All The Single Ladies.
Know When They’re Just Not Into You
“Going for emotionally unavailable assholes, men or women, is either for people who are similarly unavailable or for dumb teenagers who think assholes are cool. A smart adult knows what they want, prioritizes their happiness and values their time. Assholes don’t fit into an adult equation.
They also know that attention and interest are given, not chased after, so they spend time with the people who are interested and cut all the drama and bullshit.”
Don’t Talk About The Date Itself.
“Don’t talk about future dates, past dates. Actually, don’t even tell your date that you’re dating them. Just let it happen naturally and don’t analyse it. This is much easier said than done, and I know your stalking skills are second to none but just let it happen.”
Adopt An Abundance Mindset
“Dating is all about resilience and training yourself to have no fear of rejection. All other great personality traits stem from being able to accept failure and keep moving forward. It’s a numbers game. For every 100 hours that you spend wandering aimlessly outside, you might only get 1 or 2 dates. Keep at it and start wandering more.
Trust me, people smell desperation really fast. This is why having an abundance mindset is so important. It means that you believe that there is always someone for you out there ,so there’s no rush to anything.”
Put Your Checklist Away.
“Ah that special mental checklist women often use to evaluate the men they date. An ever changing list of requirements that could cancel out a great guy or dismiss a real connection because he doesn’t all the boxes.
Sure, know yourself and what you’re worth but keep deal breakers to a minimum. It’s hard to be impressive on a first date, be open to new and different types of people.”
Guys Want To Fall In Love Too
“Girls are pretty vocal about trying to find their one true love. Guys, on the other hand, tend to be pretty shut up about it. But we’re still trying to find it. If we meet someone in between, we see where that goes. So please don’t write off every guy as noncommittal.”
Image Sources: Giphy, Netflix