For the next little while, this is a Jack Black stan page. So give me a minute and hear me out.
Twitter has done as Twitter does and gone on an absolute tangent, starting a serious (but very silly) movement to get everyone’s fun, unproblematic uncle Jack Black into the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Yes. I agree.
And the character many people are envisioning him in: Star-Lord, the Guardian of the Galaxy played currently by Chris Pratt.
And yes I am including the roles where he’s ripped. Jack Black can do flips at his current weight I’m sure he could have played Star Lord.
— Kayla Ancrum (@KaylaAncrum) December 2, 2020
Do we see the vision? I do.
It makes sense that the (arguably) most beloved actor and man in Hollywood would be an easy answer to replace another man who’s been at the centre of many heated debates recently. And, also, let’s not forget, the man voted the “Worst Chris” in a Universe already so heavily dominated by Chrises.
Besides, when we factor in his impeccable comedy skills, exquisite musical talent, and very good acting chops, it only makes sense that Jack Black play the goofy, mixtape-singing, dance-battling Star-Lord.
(Btw, there’s no reality in Chris Pratt being replaced in the Marvel movies, this is all just hypothetical)
It’s not just a matter of saying to Chris Pratt: “you’re tacky and I hate you”, but that the vision of Jack Black doing that dance battle scene in the first Guardians of the Galaxy, is too much. So is the thought of Jack Black (as Star-Lord) taking on Thanos in Infinity War and End Game.
Incorrect. Two movies? Jack black toys with his enemies, and would easily string it out for 3 movies, a musical number, a commercial, and a podcast, and they would all still be watchable.
— HiveOverlordGizzy (free scifi-comedy link in bio) (@DoesGizzy) December 4, 2020
Let’s not forget his acting chops. That man gives his body and soul to his performances.
Jack Black is funny yes, but he’s also a good serious actor and brings a lot of tender-soft boy energy to serious roles kind of like Brendan Fraser in the Mummy. But he’s also built like a battle axe under his chub. So.
— Kayla Ancrum (@KaylaAncrum) December 2, 2020
A battle axe that Donald Glover, himself, marvelled at his physical dexterity.
As Donald Glover said : “His ratio of girth to hip flexibility is mesmerizing “
— EndtheLobby? (@EndtheLobby) December 3, 2020
We need only admire his crack at the WAP dance. He truly is a chunky battle axe with very flexible hips.
Pratt could never pic.twitter.com/EpiRgcK623
— ? ?? Attaboy, Furious??? (@Andrew__3000) December 3, 2020
And he’s got a quiet softness about him that, if I’m being honest, I don’t think Pratt’s Star-Lord has (but would be a refreshing change and extra dimension to a comic book character).
You know that part in GotG where Star Lord wakes up to a hot girl in his ship and doesn’t remember her name? I feel like Jack Black would have made it so that Star Lord remembered her name.
I just feel it in my heart that Jack could pull off womanizer who actually likes women.
— Kayla Ancrum (@KaylaAncrum) December 2, 2020
I think we have enough misogynistic womaniser characters on-screen.
But, look, let’s not lazily just throw Black into roles that have already been cast. He deserves much more, and could absolutely flesh out a billion other MCU characters. Characters like Puck, The Thing, making a cameo as Spiderman in that multiverse movie, Arcade. There are a lot of calls to get him in for a cross-over with Deadpool.
Now that’s what I want to see.
In conclusion, to summarise these many arguments as to why Jack Black could easily replace Chris Pratt in the MCU – and why he could easily replace Chris Pratt in any of his roles:
Jack Black could do Guardians of the Galaxy but Chris Pratt couldn’t do The Holiday.
— Ariadne Oliver Stan Account (@marillenbaum27) December 2, 2020
I rest my case.
Image Sources: Instagram (@jackblack, @prattprattpratt)
