A girl’s night out is like a ritual. The night also possesses an undiscussed standard that you know you all need to reach. You usually spend the week beforehand talking about where you’re going to go, what you’re going to wear and how you’re going to have the best time. But often, certain expectations are snuffed out by the reality of everything.
Expectation: You all get on a good level before catching an Uber to the club.
You all have self-control right? Of course you do, you’re all functioning adults here. You’ll measure the shots for your mixed drink so you can keep track of how many drinks you’ve had. Because you know your optimal drinks level and all that jazz. You could even play a couple rounds of Cards Against Humanity with a hilarious, tipsy glow about you.
Reality: One of you goes too hard and has to be put to bed, fully dressed.
Nah, you’re pouring vodka straight into the cup, no need for measuring. Measuring is for the weak who don’t know the true meaning of fun. You turn the music up louder as your hearing starts to dull and like clockwork you’re already pulling out your best moves you were going to save for the club. You’ve peaked too early, prepare for chaos and imminent unconsciousness.
Yeah The Girls
Expectation: You’re all going to stick together.
It’s been months since you’ve had a girl’s night, with your differing schedules and all. So the night out is going to be a great catch up. And, by the traditional definition of a girl’s night, that means boys aren’t to enter into your radius. This is your night for forget everything but your friendship and it’ll be bliss.
Reality: One of you is thirsty AF and dogs the girls for a boy.
Typical though. One moment you’re all there having a dance or a gossip sesh. The next thing you know, you’re glancing around for your mate, wondering if they’ve gone to get themselves another drink. Nope. There they are, being smothered against the pool table by a boy who looks like a college jock. So much for this being a girl’s night.
Expectation: You’re going to stay looking fresh and on your game.
No matter if it’s freezing, humid or raining, you’ll all be looking top of your game. Heck, you may have even bought a new outfit for the big occasion.
Reality: There’s a drink stain on your white silk top and you just want to take your heels off.
Everything hurts. You’ve somehow managed to spill something on your new top that cost you an arm and a leg. Your skirt is tight and good lord, your feet are aching like no tomorrow. Who decided it would be a great idea to wear heels, anyway? You know you’ll end up taking them off before the night ends, etiquette be damned.
Expectation: You’ll all be carefree. Young and wild. Not a worry to be had.
No one will get in your way because you’re all minding your own business like a bunch of well-mannered women. You’ll be dancing and laughing like the women off those Carefree pad and tampon commercials.
Reality: A stranger gave your friend attitude and now you’re raring to go.
The fact that someone even dared to give your friend a bit of attitude is laughable at best. And obviously, you’re required to defend their honour, even though they’re telling you not to worry about it. Nah.. through your drink at them. That’ll show ’em.
Expectation: Nothing to cry about here, everybody’s on cloud nine.
You are all absolutely in your element. You with you could stay in this moment of bliss forever.
Reality: Somehow, you’ve ended up in the bathroom because one of your friends saw their
ex making out with someone. It’s sobering.
And this is why we can’t have nice things. You’re now all situated in the bathroom doing damage control while you and your friends try to console your emotional mate. Other girls are walking in and giving you all concerned looks. Some even come over and ask what’s wrong, to which your mate is more than forthcoming about what just went down. It’s time to call it a night.