If you’re anything like me, this Valentine’s Day will consist of two things. One is a generic video from team Snapchat and the other is a whole 24 hours worth of emotional too-ing and fro-ing. Yo-yo-ing back and forth from feeling single and empowered to single and lonely, isolated, unappreciated…okay you get it.
But seriously, if you don’t have plans this V Day don’t be too alarmed. Whilst everyone else is out basking in love and cheesy romantic gestures fuelled by a capitalist money-making exercise, we’ll be busy doing other things. Let’s spend Valentine’s Day curled up in a dimly lit room, educating ourselves with murder mysteries and laughing off our loneliness with stand up comedy. Sounds like a plan people, BYO snacks.
Here’s a schedule of shows you probably haven’t watched, but which you really should.
Because this little beauty starring our all time Day After Tomorrow wonderboy Jake Gyllenhaal must’ve got lost in Netflix’s algorithm. Why isn’t anyone talking about this!? Geeze it had me second guessing life itself. It’s a very, very weird satirical thriller. Think supernatural forces, snobby art scenes and blood. Lots of blood.
Grace and Frankie
Because there’s no better way to relieve the pain of your loveless life than to laugh at the romantic misfortunes of others, right? Grace and Frankies’ lives are turned upside down when their husbands reveal they’ve been having an affair with each other for 20 years. How’s that for a plot bloody twist?
Their unlikely friendship will give you hope that life is all about bros before hoes/chicks before dicks/mates before dates etc etc etc. Let’s celebrate friendships this V Day, not relationships.
Comedians of the World
Because laughter cures all. Alcohol is also good but that’s not as socially acceptable to binge on in the dark now, is it? 47 comedians from 13 different regions across the globe have each got a killer stand up session for you to laugh and cry over. It’ll be happy tears though, I promise. My top picks are:
US: Neal Brennan
Aus: Joel Creasey
US: Chris D’Elia
South Africa: Riaad Moosa
Ellen can do no wrong, ever. Like ever, ever. Relatable marks Ellen’s return to stand-up after 15 years and God we really, really missed her. She delivers heartfelt stories ever so candidly and ever so freakin’ hilariously. A must-watch with your bestie, whether it be of the human or alcoholic grape juice kind.
Friends From College
This show is so underrated and I feel like it deserves at least some kind of rap, if any at all. As they explore their post-college days, amidst some affairs, break ups and steamy make up sex, this group of college friends will have you all teary at the sight of sweet, sweet friendship. Totally V-Day appropriate for your single ass.
Abducted In Plain Sight
We’ve all done some things with past lovers we regret. This coming V Day you and I are probably going to be feeling slightly more regretful for those questionable acts which led us to well, a single and loveless wasteland. How great.
But fear not. This guy takes the cake for committing the most questionable act of all. Watch this and feel the wave of relief as you realise whatever you’ve done can’t be half as bad as what this guy did.
This is just, ugh. I can’t even. Watch friends, just watch.
Well now you’re all caught up with what you should be watching, all you really need is you, your snacks and your Netflix. Enjoy you loveless beings.
Image Source: Giphy, IMDb, Netflix