There’s nothing that cures a hangover like a greasy feed and spending the day curled up under the covers…in the dark. That is until you realise you didn’t call in sick to work last night. It isn’t easy showing up to the office with a shadowy gaze and an urge to vomit every two minutes. Yes, you might just want to turn up with a pair of sunnies as big as your head, but in reality this might cause a bit of suspicion.
What you might soon experience is a nightmare come to life. Think bright lights to compliment those over-sensitive eyes, corporate vibes where everyone is talking, and even worse, meeting after meeting with clients. Instead of calling in sick (in a not so inconspicuous fashion), here’s just how to mask the post-piss-up aftermath while at work.
Wash, brush and de-stink as best you can. Your mouth is likely to feel like it’s been on a Saharan excursion, so imagine the stench it’s omitting. Shower and steam yourself until you feel marginally presentable. It’s likely to require an early wakeup or perhaps even a night of no sleep, but when it comes to faking it…appearances are everything.
Cover those bags, whiten those eyes and don’t skimp on your grooming. The effort will feel arduous, but putting in a little extra effort will make you appear at least at your usual level of prepared. Masking a hangover is no easy feat, raid the medicine cabinet and get primping. Gents, don’t be afraid to ask ‘ya girl for some concealer – it works wonders.
Take A Pill (Or Six)
An ibuprofen, multivitamin and a Berrocca. Even though it was your liberal indulgence in substances that put you in this situation, you need a boost or two to elevate your mood and demeanour. There’s no better indicator of a hungover employee than a truly despondent desk jockey, who is usually the picture of perkiness. Take the bottle to work and load up as you see fit, you just have to make it through the 9-5 and then it’s back to your plush sanctuary a.k.a. the couch.
Dress nicer than you usually would, the wardrobe equivalent of suiting up. Wear your new dress, your winning combo or your favourite shirt. A little extra confidence in the fabric department will help you walk the walk, one perfectly pressed pant leg at a time.
Oh god no, not hair of the dog. Push the bloody mary far away and reach for a Sprite instead. Water of course is key, but a little bubbly will work away that dastard headache. Scientists found the lemon liquid actually broke down a key component of ethanol, making your post booze hangover easier to digest and swiftly rid.
Although you may want to resign from society or slink into hiding, but this is a telltale sign to your boss that you’re under the weather. If you were drinking with them then maybe that’ll slide, but if you clocked off for bevies yesterday afternoon then rocking up to work nursing a hangover is poor form. Make a concerted effort to interact with your coworkers politely and probably best to avoid boasting about your epic adventures the night before. That’s a tale to be told when you’re not trying to coast by at the office undetected.
You’re going to need all manners of assistance to make it through today. Forgo the weekly budget and your brought from home lunch, get a decent breakfast from the local cafe, hook yourself up to however much coffee you need to maintain face and eat well all day long. Go for a walk at lunch and get a little fresh air, it will do you wonders. If you throw the monetary concerns out the window, you’re much more likely to make healthier and delicious choices. Avo on toast is affordable for this day only, then it’s back to a life of canned tuna and discount sushi.
Image source: Post Grad Problems.