There’s nothing that cures a hangover like a greasy feed and spending the day curled up under the covers. But sometimes in the midst of your drinking joy, you forget to call in sick the next day. Or you’ve run out of time to call in sick at a reasonable hour.
Hangovers aren’t fun on a good day, let alone when you have to go to work feeling dustier than an attic. The fluorescent lights are too bright, everything is too loud, and your co-workers are far too chipper. And you just want to hurl up that dirty kebab you had.
And you definitely don’t want to give yourself away by rocking up in a huge pair of blacked-out sunnies.
Instead of calling in sick (bc that looks suss), here’s just how to mask the post-piss-up aftermath while at work.
Wash, brush and de-stink as best you can. Your mouth is likely to feel like it’s been on a week-long trek through the Sahara. Not to mention you probably feel grubby as heck. Steam and scrub until you feel marginally presentable (and more awake). And don’t forget to brush your teeth, the minty freshness will work wonders. Whether you’ve got an hour or minutes to spare, make this your priority.
Hit Up Your Local (Pharmacy)
You’ll need some chemical assistance to get you back in working-shape. And trust me, Berocca will become your new best friend. Drop one into a glass of water and pop an ibuprofen (a.k.a. Nurofen). There’s nothing that will give you away faster than being a grumpy chained-to-your-desk troll all day. You’ll need a boost to give you even a little bit more life. And don’t forget to take your supplies to work with you, and load up as you need (but follow the prescribed instructions).
Amp Up Your ‘Fit
Dress nicer than you usually would. Wear something that makes you feel fabulous, confident, and like an absolute BOSS. A bit more effort on the exterior will disguise the absolute dumpster fire that is bubbling inside, and will give you the extra pep in your step to help you fake it ’til you make it (back to your bed).
Drink More (And Try To Eat Something)
NOT hair of the dog. Push the bloody mary far away and reach for a Sprite instead. Water, of course is key, but a little bubbly will fizz away that headache in no time. Scientists found the lemon elixir actually broke down a key component of ethanol, making your hangover easier to digest and swiftly rid.
And while you’re at it, get some food in your system. If you have a go-to meal that always helps you get through the painful hangover haze, get onto it. But if you can’t even stomach that, try some plain toast, or some salty crackers, even 2 minute noodles. Whatever it is, salt is good (in this instance) to help absorb and retain water and bring you back to life.
Slinking into hiding is a telltale sign that you’re not feeling your best. It means your boss and co-workers will probably (almost definitely) notice and may put in the effort to make your day even worse – especially if you were drinking with them. But if it was an after-works or Sunday session, you don’t need to bring the aftermath of your fun home to them. Make an effort to pleasantly interact with then (and it’s probably best to avoid boasting about your epic adventures). Save that for a day when you’re not trying to survive the day.
You Did It!
It’s time to reward yourself – but probably not with more drinks. Take a walk around the block durng your lunch break and take in the fresh air, chill out in a park, you deserve it. Or, to really treat yourself, forgo the weekly budget and splurge on a nice brunch, lunch, or after-work dinner (sans alcohol, pls). Or just hook yourself up with as much coffee and good food as you need to get through the day. It’s acceptable for this day only, then it’s back to a life of canned tuna and discount sushi.
You can go back to bed now.
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