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How To: Ease Into Red Wines When You’re A Goon Fanatic

Ever been envious of that classy gal at every event sipping on red wine when you can’t even stand the smell of it? Wanted to feature a bottle of red in that insta-worthy picnic shot? Well, you’re in the right spot my friends. If you’re wanting to know how to ease your way off the goon and onto the classy reds, I’ve got a tried and tested beginners menu for your reds, whether it be to totally impress on a date or a cheeky Netflix binge. You’ll be a red connoisseur in no time.

If You Like Pina Colada’s

… Or getting caught in the rain sweet drinks in general, start with ports. These babies are the red version of moscato, ideal for sipping (if you’re being responsible), or even done as a shot, a good place to start. If we’re being broad here, rosé could be considered a red, but as a Bartender I’m going to say that it’s not.

The Next Steps…

post malone GIF by AMAs

Stick to your lighter reds, think varieties like Pinot Noir or Cab Sauv. These babies will be a step up from rosé and port, and definitely not as sweet, but they’re a definite sure step in the the direction of acquiring that sophisticated adult look (and taste). If you really hate it at first, don’t give up all hope, it’s definitely something that will grow on you. Once you get over the bitter stage of these you can move into your more full-bodied shiraz and merlot.

Food Is Your Friend

There are a few things to consider when getting into the (red) wine scene. Firstly, food is your friend. Drinking wine straight can be a bit much starting out, but in saying this you don’t need to go by the whole “red meat, red wine” rule. Cheese and crackers is a definite way to go for your wine nights, this’ll give off a VERY classy sophisticated vibe.

The Fridge Is Your Friend, Too

jimmy o yang GIF by Silicon Valley

Yes, the magical place where all your greasy left overs come out of. Don’t be afraid to chill your reds. Yes, this might make all you wine connoisseurs raise one eyebrow, but this can make a big difference in taste for the wine. It can make it lighter and easier to drink for the average goon-drinker.

Swirl Like The True Wine Snob

You might not want to look like a complete dick head swirling your wine round the wine glass as big as your head. But truth is, drinking red from your housemate’s porcelain cup isn’t going to do you any favours. There’s a reason wine snobs circle their glass, and it’s not to look like a complete and utter dickhead (surprise). The art of swirling your wine will take off the slightest note of bitterness, allowing you to enjoy it more and not scrunch your nose up every time you take a sip.

Image Source: Paramount Pictures

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Margot (yes, like Margot Robbie, no not quite Margot Robbie) is a canine-loving, food-obsessed gal who will always volunteer to taste-test cocktails when serving behind the bar.

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