Dating & Sex

How To Survive The ‘What Are We?’ Limbo

Modern dating seems to be harder than ever with all the social platforms and apparent etiquette that none of us seem to be able to perfect. Are you exclusive? Are you just buddies? Friends with benefits? What about seeing other people? Is the relationship one-sided or are you both in love? We can often go through these motions when meeting someone new and it’s enough to bring even the most level headed of us to our knees. So how, on God’s green earth, are we meant to get through this ‘what are we’ nonsense and come out the other side with our sanity?


Yes, honesty is still a thing. No matter how messed up and complicated we all (unintentionally) love to make things, honesty with one another will always be a valid option. We’re always sitting around and wondering how everyone else is feeling, when guess what? We can legitimately come out and ask them what they’re thinking and feeling, instead of playing the guessing game. Pretty neat, huh? While it can be scary to pluck up the courage and have the ‘what are we doing?’ conversation, letting your mind run away with you about the entire relationship (whatever you are) is scarier.

Go With The Flow

Did I just laugh while typing this because of the hypocrisy seeping out of the statement? You betcha. Going with the flow is not an easy feat if you like knowing what’s going on and tend to be strung a little tighter. Sometimes things work out and sometimes they don’t, naturally that’s just the way things go. What’s great to remember though (before having a sulk), is that things usually don’t work out for a reason that you’ll probably be better for. So, either way, enjoy it and take things as they come. You’ll be alright.

Know What You Want

If you have a decently clear idea of what you would like out of a relationship, then make it known. Part of the reason why we end up in this insufferable limbo is due to miscommunication, or no communication at all. Knowing what you want gives a clearer idea of if diving into this territory is even worth the partial frustration. If the person you’re in the limbo with wants different things, you’ll be able to remove yourself and be on your merry way. If you believe that their desires sync up with your own, then you might just make it out the other side alive. Continue onwards, friend.

Phone A Friend

Sometimes, when we’re consumed with confusion and all of the gross emotions, we need a fresh perspective from someone who knows us well, a friend. It helps if the friend has learned not to take your crap or your half-assed excuses. They’ll probably give you the brutal honesty you need. Venting to your mate can be a great way to sort your thoughts out. It’s also ideal because it might stop you from losing the plot and venting to your potential partner/ FWB/ thingo-mobob about your frustrations with this ongoing venture. Definitely do not recommend.

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You'll always catch Leisha laughing at her own puns. She'd wear her red Converses to her own wedding and believes dirty dancing is always a swell idea.

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