I have a proposition, and I think you’ll like it. Buckle up, it involves Harry Styles.
The L.A. rumour mill is turning with whispers that Ellen DeGeneres is set to be booted from her own daytime talk show. This comes after a series of explosive stories detailing a toxic work environment on her kindness-preaching set.
With Ellen on the (alleged) outs, Page Six reports that a glittering list of big names being put together to replace her. Who is, supposedly, at the top? James Corden.
Yes, the British fellow and host of The Late Late Show (that late night talk show with Carpool Karaoke) is apparently the hot favourite to move into Ellen’s coveted daytime television seat.
That means his seat at the Late, Late desk will be empty. It, too, needs a replacement.
The only person I can think of who fits the bill is the one, the only: Harry Styles.
There are certain qualities that a talk-show host must have and, I argue, that Harry Styles has them in spades. No, bucket loads. No, truck loads.
We have barely scratched the surface of his iceberg of entertainer potential.
Here I present my thesis: Why Harry Styles Should Replace James Corden On The Late, Late Show.
Exhibit A: He’s Got Hosting Experience
An obvious preference for employee is someone with hosting experience. And if there was an internship for talk-show hosting, Harry Styles has basically completed his at The Late, Late Show.
In 2017 he also completed a week-long stint alongside Corden to promote his debut solo album (which was a YUGE success). And he has made cameos in the show’s iconic Carpool Karaoke both as a solo artist and as a member of One Direction.
All of his Late, Late appearances as host or guest, btw, only further prove my point.
Exhibit B: He Oozes Charm And Charisma, A Host Essential
This was obvious enough in any and all of his interviews from his decade-long career. Whether from his earliest 1D days, or watching him gab with Tracee Ellis Ross and quiz (and be quizzed by) his ex Kendall Jenner during his 2019 hosting stint.
You can just tell tell that he makes people feel unbelievable comfortable around them, and that’s the kind of person you want to be hosting a late night talk show. Because that’s the sort of person who’s going to squeeze the juicy gossip and ridiculous antics out of a guest.
Exhibit C: He’s Got Style. Flair. Panache.
I mean, if the huge flared pants on his Fine Line album cover weren’t enough, take a scroll through his Insta to appreciate the glory of his wardrobe.
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But it’s more than wardrobe style, he’s got style in his bones. It is literally who he is. He is Harry MF Styles.
Exhibit D: He’s An Unproblematic King
We need not worry about having to replace him because of a toxic workplace culture. Has he ever said a bad word about anyone? I don’t think so.
Harry Styles lets people drink his tequila and doesn’t flip out when wine is spilt on his luxe Gucci suit at an awards show.
He doesn’t give a shit about being peer pressured into specifying his sexuality. And will stand up to radio shock jock bullies like Kyle Sandilands.
He is so willing to not be a dick to his exes or former bandmates that he will drink cod sperm and eat a scorpion in the name of being a nice guy.
Entertaining and unproblematic. Now, that. is. style. (refer back to Exhibit C)
Exhibit E: He’s Literally Got ‘Late, Late’ Tattooed On His Body
Yeah, James Corden played a game of Tattoo Roulette with One Direction and Harry lost, so had to get “Late, Late” tattooed on his body.
Not only does his follow-through show his dedication to the cause, but it also gives execs even more reason to hire him. I mean, he’s literally branded with the show’s logo.
Please, someone, make the tattoo make sense.
Exhibit F: He’s Got Musical Talent.
Duh. And for Corden’s style of Late, Late Show, that’s particularly important.
Exhibit G: He’s A Goddamn Gift
HS looks good on camera. Loves self-referential humour delivered with a cheeky wink. Dances with old people. He’s an actor (which makes him perfect for cameos and skits – as seen on SNL). Doesn’t mind making a fool of himself. Is intelligent. He has huge bodyguards that I’m sure will make cameos for comedic purposes. His HAIR is lush and iconic. He’s funny (or maybe I’m blinding by his golden ratio face).
In short, he is a goddamn gift.
Exhibit H: He’s Harry Styles
That is all.
In conclusion, Harry Styles is the only person who is fit to replace James Corden at the helm of The Late, Late Show. The only one. Try and prove otherwise.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Image Source: Giphy, Twitter (@aimestyles_)