Between Mlebourne’s stage 4 lockdown and Beirut’s devastating explosion, it’s been a difficult week. It’s important to take time away from the constant cycle of bad news and rejuvenate for a little – so here are the funniest tweets I could find on Twitter this week to cheer you up and get you through the week.
I love masks. I can’t believe I let y’all just breathe on me before.
— cristina arreola (@C_Arreola) August 5, 2020
the good news is my custom facemask arrived, the bad news is that they printed my face 20% too large pic.twitter.com/jBaVM7nbYI
— Cameron!! (@cameronmattis) July 27, 2020
For all the Melb people isolating with kids, this one is for you.
3 year olds learn the word “Why” and don’t shut up
— 🐐👑 (@naaahsir) August 4, 2020
the dentist just asked me to open up and now I can’t stop crying
— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) August 4, 2020
A true nature icon!!
Man I fuckin love scientists. Someone was like “what kind of rock is that” and everyone else was like “who care, it’s a rock” and that person was like “I care and I will find out”
— Kyle 🌱 (@KylePlantEmoji) August 5, 2020
Maybe = no.
Me: I love my friends. Their interests? Incredible. Their tastes? Impeccable. I would die for them. If there’s a single thing they asked of me I literally could not possibly hesitate
Friend: Hey check out this cool song
Me: Haha cool maybe
— Ron Iver (@ronnui_) August 5, 2020
[after someone explains why I’m 100 percent wrong] Haha well great to spar with you as always,
— Brooks Otterlake (@i_zzzzzz) August 5, 2020
replace Ellen with Troy and Abed in the morning
— brown anna kendrick (@meeracleshappen) August 3, 2020
wait what kind of crime scene has both https://t.co/R9UyxB9z6F
— Nick Morrow (@NRMorrow) August 4, 2020
I laughed at this more than I am willing to admit.
Mum took my weed so I took her wheelchair neither of us rolling
— 🃏16 (@sym_3001) August 4, 2020
Landlords be like “it’s an old building” alright then I’ll pay old rent, here’s 20 bucks it’s a fortune
— waria ☭ (@EternalDago) August 4, 2020
Her: I actually think Ratatouille is a boring movie
Me *shakes head at waiter bringing the engagement ring*
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) July 30, 2020
Me: This pizza is really good!
Somebody Who Visited Italy With Their Family For A Week When They Were 14: *sighs* It’s fine…
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) August 4, 2020
I just saw a job require 15+ years in social media experience?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!!!! So like they want to hire Tom from Myspace!??!
— lydia juliet (@CashLydia) August 4, 2020
Does anyone remember the shower thoughts Tumblr account? That’s the energy in the next few tweets.
crazy how your nippIes are oIder than your teeth
— 333 (@notThreat3x) August 4, 2020
remember computer room? now every room is computer room. makes u think
— murder house flip on quibi (@boneysoups) August 5, 2020
what if a snake fell asleep wrong and when he woke up his him was alseep
— human aaron (@humanaaron) August 5, 2020
what part of “hiiii” do u not get??? i am in Iove with u
— logan (@brainwxrms) August 5, 2020
Charcuterie is just what happens when you have a Depressed Meal and eat assorted things straight out of the fridge, but you’re Business Depressed so you put it on a bit of wood.
— Natalie’Zorah (@TerraSirena) August 4, 2020
And there you have it folks, a personally curated list of the funniest tweets this week, from yours truly. You’re welcome.