Hipsteria

Source: College Candy

First off, hipsters, I have to ask what is up with the 70’s porn moustaches and all that flannel? Did you guys all simultaneously have a ‘My Name is Earl’ marathon?

Over the last eighteen months our society has been overrun with what I like to call, “Hipsteria”. What is a hipster you ask? It involves men in jeans so tight I’m fairly sure they need paint remover to get them off. All wearing non-prescription glasses that they paid top dollar for, oh and for goodness sakes, who wears a scarf in December?

The Hipsteria phenomenon has swept over our nation. I remember a time where a pair of footy shorts, thongs and a bucket hat
were the pinnacle of fashion in Australia (or maybe that was truly never in…), but oh how I long for the days when the worst fashion faux pas was seeing someone wearing Nike TN’s and a slanted dri-fit hat.

But where did Hipsteria come from? Was it a case of people being too lazy to dress well; has the cost of living become so high our youth are reduced to living out of Salvo’s bins? I can make my peace with the unusual clothing choices and even the strange indie films that have no plot, but have you hipsters never heard of colour coordination?

Nevertheless the hipsters of our generation do try to be positive members of society, it’s just that they get muddled up in their
execution. For example, how is it plausible to rant about the economic stronghold a country like China has and how their factories largely contribute to global warming but then go out and buy a $600 Fixie bike which is made in those same factories in china. #WTF.

Perhaps I’m being a tad harsh on our poorly dressed citizens, maybe in a society where everyone is dressing the same it is pleasant to dress differently, but here lies the irony; in an attempt to be non-conformist, it seems that all the hipsters have taken the time to all look exactly the same, and god forbid, MAINSTREAM. But it isn’t just their fashion sense I have a quarrel with.

How is it that a group of people who are as liberal as they come, have the notion that the government has no right to control them? Of course, you can never argue this point with a true hipster as their self-perceived righteousness coupled with the pseudo-intellectual arguments they provide, would only end in you giving up because you no longer have the energy to roll your eyes and disprove their ironic statements at the same time.

But, they’re not all that bad (I guess). I have observed certain foods such as organic, gluten-free, and ‘farm-fed’ appearing more and more on our shelves, along with the discovery of super-foods like oats, activated almonds and quinoa.

Hipsters certainly did not create these things but they sure did promote it with their weird and kinda-wonderful lingo – “I liked quinoa before it was cool, brown rice is so putch” (I get the feeling hipsters like to create words so they look elite). So, in a roundabout way, I guess we should probably thank our hipsters for making the world a healthier, albeit less tasty, place.

I will also surrender and say that if not for the full-blown fashion extremes that bring hipsters delight, some of their styles have merit; those glasses do look pretty cool (and would be a lot cooler without the $300 price tag). And oh, the triumph that is the chino. Chinos are quite possibly the most comfortable, exquisite pair of pantaloons I have ever had the pleasure of wearing. It’s like wearing a pair of trackies without harsh judgement from the public. A nod to you good Sir’s for bringing those into my life.

Although, like most, I have a sneaking suspicion that “Hipsteria” began with one fairly popular and stingy youth raiding his grandfather’s closet, and in some sort of upside-down world his friends loved the ‘harsh but fluid colour blocks, and, like, mysterious tones of the tweed blazer, that would go perfectly with some fluro pants” and copied his ‘style’ – and just like the Black Plague, it spread. Not that hipsters are like the black plague…. well, at least the plague had the decency to leave.

I know, I’ve been critical of the hipsters of our generation, and yes, there have been hipsters for many generations, starting in the 1940’s where a hipster was that “cool cat that talked jive and was hip hop and happenin”. But, I will say, that they have injected some positive vibes into our social stream, such as their humanistic philosophies that contribute to the increase in human rights campaigns led by the youth of our generation.

And, perhaps, instead of ignoring and laughing at our hipsters, we should sit and wait for the greatness that they may bring to our lives; just as the 60’s gave us love and peace, the 70’s disco and flared pants, the 80’s keyboards and fluro, and the 90’s grunge, boy bands and The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air – maybe the hipsters of 2013 have something in store for us?