Loving Yourself Is Freaking Hard

How many times do you see quotes, photos and blogs about how you should love yourself and be happy with how you look? You should be unique because who else can you be? Loving yourself is the only way etc etc.

Some people simply do love themselves and their bodies. They grew up in a great environment, had awesome friends or they’ve had that journey of self-love and I’m happy for them, I truly am, you go Glen Coco. However some of us grew up scrutinising our bodies, comparing them to others and the media. You had friends who were effortlessly ‘hot’ growing up and you couldn’t help but wonder why you weren’t born with their genes. It isn’t your fault, the vast majority of us were too young when we started to realise how we were screwing over our future selves.

Sometimes we love our bodies, probably when we are ‘toned’ or tanned but if that isn’t the case that love goes away far too easily. I am one of those people and sadly enough quite a few of my girlfriends are too. People probably think it is easy to change into an unconditional self-loving human however if you’ve been this way for 5-10 years it’s actually quite difficult.

Look I am the first to admit that you should be happy with who you are and love your body no matter what. I’m also the first to admit that doing so is a lot harder than reading a few motivational quotes. I read these things and I’m like ‘Yeah man you’re right I should love myself no matter what I weigh, look at me go I’m awesome, I’m sexy as hell’. Then I try on my pre America pants and they don’t fit and I’m back to ‘Stuff this body why can’t I have a super-fast metabolism and be cute and petite and wear whatever the hell I want’.  Sound familiar?

It will take a while but in a few years you might actually realize that you used to be an asshole to yourself.

I understand that this is shit. I understand it’s not good and not true. How do we improve on this fucked mindset though? How do we stop this unhealthy body image habit?

The quest to love yourself is a long ass battle of the mind and if you’re anything like me you’ve probably been speaking to yourself in a negative light for quite some time and it’s hard to reverse it. Missy Elliot makes it sound easy, but it isn’t.

However nothing good ever came easy. Just like you want to train for certain goals you need to train and practice your mind to stop speaking to yourself poorly and to love your appearance every day, no matter the circumstance. It will take a while but in a few years you might actually realize that you used to be an asshole to yourself and pass on some knowledge so others can stop being assholes too.

Here’s some ways I’ve found actually help instead of just telling you to love yourself and being done with it. Practice it on the regular my friends.

  • Whenever you catch yourself saying negative things about your bod, ask if you would say this to your best friend. Guessing that’s a hellll no!
  • Please realise everything isn’t about appearance. You’ve heard this before haven’t you? Now actually believe it. Maybe you’re not where you want to be right now but are you a good friend? A good listener? Good sense of humour? These things are far more important than the size of your pants!
  • Come to terms with things you can’t change – no point in wasting energy on them
  • For the love of all things great please stop fucking talking about how so and so is a bitch because she is good looking. Stop assessing girls and thinking of them poorly because you feel shit about yourself. Think about why you are saying it – Do you really think it’s to do with the girl or to do with yourself?
  • I honestly believe that if you exercise and eat well 80-90% of the time you will feel better about your body – science and shit. I do this and some days I still feel down so I’m not going to pretend we live in fairy land and every day is full of rainbows however if majority of your days can be improved by living a healthy life why would you not implement this?
  • Walk the hell away from the mirror. This has helped me tenfold. I used to stare at myself in the mirror – Have I lost weight? Do my legs look okay? Do my arms look fat in this shirt? Just walk away because its A) unhealthy as shit and B) a complete waste of your time
  • Surround yourself with better people or try to influence the ones you’re with to do more of the above, if you’re in a group and catch negative chat going down change the damn subject!

I used to weigh myself daily and if that number fluctuated boy was I unhappy. The things I used to think were horrible and also too long for this blog (maybe that will be up next). Over the past year I have gotten a lot better with my body image and self love, so imagine me in a few more years! I’ve slowly began to realise that my body is worth more than its appearance. The things it can do is worth more than how big my thighs are.

In all seriousness we should realise that just to be alive and healthy we are lucky. There are more important things than the size of your waist line. It’s quite easy to forget this with social media constantly at our finger tips though. If only we could see ourselves the way other people do. If only I saw myself the way my boyfriend does. My best friend does. My mum does. Right now that isn’t the case. Loving myself has been a long journey and I’m still on the train to destination love yourself city. It improves everyday though, because I practice it and don’t let myself go off on a tangent or speak horribly anymore. Try it and see how much better you feel because as all the quotes and shit go, you really are worth more than a number on a scale.

PS – Dove actually did a body image experiment where they put women in a cafe and got them to say all the things they say to themselves out loud in public to other women. Quite eye opening and sad all at once. Hopefully this helps you too! Check it out here:

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20-something old girl from Canberra, mostly writing about shit I have opinions on, which is mostly health, fitness and matters of the mind. Gym coach, frequent music festivaler and enjoy the travelling thang.

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