Here I was, just hanging out and enjoying my morning when I realised that holy shit this Sunday is Father’s Day. And I am not ready (but, if dad asks, I’m totally ready).
It’s amazing how year after year we forget to prepare for the day dedicated to celebrating the always main man in our lives. The man who has always been the master of lawnmowers. The man who is always tinkering in the back shed. Who showed you how not to drive. And who doesn’t know that a snag on bread isn’t a proper dinner (but it’s okay b/c it’s Saturday and he means well).
If you’re floundering and thinking “well, I guess I can get him a pack of socks and some beers,” one, how dare you (steal my idea); two, be so defeated; three, go into gift shopping for the old man with such negativity.
Stop it right now. Here are some real good goodies to make dad believe you’ve been thinking about this gift for months not minutes, and to say thanks for being a top old dog.
For The Beer Connoisseur
If your dad likes to sink a few frothies after a hard day’s work, James Squire has elevated the beer-drinking experience to a new level. They have released the world’s oldest beer. The Wreck Survivor’s Ale is crafted from yeast found in a 220-year-old bottle of beer (holy smokes that’s fermented) from Australia’s oldest merchant shipwreck, ‘Sydney Cove’, on Preservation Island north of Tasmania.
The beer is partly aged in rum barrels, packaged in a very fancy 750ml glass bottle, dipped in wax and placed in a classy af gift box with historical information on the 1797 shipwreck survivors’ stories. And it’s a very exclusive gift, with only 5000 bottles available nationally in Dan Murphy’s for $60.
For The Whiskey Man
Chivas has unveiled a limited-edition Chivas Extra 13 American Rye Cask. This “exceptionally smooth and accessible” drink offers “a mellow flavour with notes of sweet and juicy citrus orange, creamy milk chocolate and a dusting of cinnamon”. It was aged for 13 years in American Rye Casks (one for each year of the Prohibition), a choice that amplifies and adds an extra dimension to the sweet but rich Chivas blend.
The blend, a partnership with Endeavour Drinks, is a world-first and celebrates 110 years since the fancy-schmancy Scotch brand landed in America in 1909. The bottle looks pretty schmick too, incorporating iconic Americana and Chivas brand history in a graffiti-style design.
You can pick this up for papa bear from BWS and Dan Murphy’s across Australia for $75.
For The Movie Buff
It’s probably been a hot minute since your dad (ever) treated himself. So give him a chance to chill out and completely zone out at the cinema.
Event Cinema’s are offering Fathers Day Gold Class Packages from $60 per person to see Once Upon a Time in Hollywood’ or ‘ZZ Top’ . Or you could take him to see the OG ‘Top Gun’, showing for Father’s Day only. The package includes two Gold Class tickets, your choice between Signature Nachos or any Arnott’s Sundae to share, plus two beverages (either 150 Lashes Pale Ale, house wine, or soft drink).
But if you don’t know whether he’s a Leo or Tom Cruise guy, or maybe he can’t get out of the back shed this weekend, you can snag him a Father’s Day gift card for him to redeem whenever he wants.
For The Man Who Is All About Doing Stuff
Honestly, check out all of the deals offered on Red Balloon for Father’s Day.
From hot laps in V8s, rally cars, or off-roaders (from $250), hot air balloon rides in the Hunter Valley ($558), an 18-hole round of golf on the Mornington Peninsula ($154), a helicopter flight over the city ($297), to clay target shooting, fishing trips, brewing classes, skydiving, and so much more.
If your dad is all about getting out and having some adrenaline-pumping (or not, there’s options there too) Red Balloon is where it’s at.
For The “Where’s My Wallet’ Dad
Is your dad always one step from running out the door when he turns around, hands on his pockets, and asks “where’s my wallet/phone/keys?”
If your dad isn’t in this phase yet, don’t you worry, it’s coming. But if your dad is constantly forgetting where he put his things Tile Mate is the gift for him.
Buy a whole pack of ‘mates’ (from $20) to attach to just about everything he owns, he’ll never panic that he left his wallet at the checkout ever again. All he needs to do is check the app to see where his stuff is. If only there was something to stop him forgetting where he put his glasses.
For The “That’s A Bit Lairy” Dad With Too Much Confidence
He may not be able to use this one right now, but if your dad loves to make a statement and has no shame and loves to hit the water in summer, grab him a pair of Budgy Smugglers. These bright swimmers are a brilliant Australian brand from Manly, Sydney. Offering swimmers in all sorts of patterns and very loud (but also some quieter) colours, they’re perfect for the man who wants to rock his dad bod in style.
But if he’s not into drawing too many eyes at the beach, the team also make some fun stubby holders in selective patterns. The same as their bottoms. So you could get a matching pair, or you could ease him into the Budgy world.
Image Sources: Modern Family (ABC), GIPHY (@cbc, @onceinhollywood, @puls_br)