All The World Cup Deets You Need To Pretend Like You’re Totally Into It

It’s the bloody biggest event in the world (yes bigger than the Olympics I checked okay). And after Brazil in 2014,  all eyes are on Putin and friends in Russia for the FIFA World Cup.

And while no doubt many of you will be right into it, participating in work sweeps, setting up your Optus Sport to watch as much football as possible, and closely following the Socceroos, many of you also probably got NFI.

But alas young football pretenders, we’ve got all the important info you need to chat shit about the World Cup with your mates and not miss out on any of the fun party vibes that comes with it.

The Actual Dates

The first game starts at 1am AEST Friday June 15th, with hosts Russia taking on Saudia Arabia, in the most underwhelming, non-PC World Cup opener in the history of football.

Group Stages wrap up on June 29th, the Knockout Stages starts on July 1st and the Grand Final is on July 15th. Strap ya’self in.

The Socceroos


So we’ve got a half decent group this year, featuring France, Denmark and Peru. We were really pretty awful in World Cup qualifying, but scraped through and should fancy our chances of making it in the top two of the group who will qualify for the knockout stages.

Will we get through? It’s probably a 50/50 chance, and it’ll depend on how we against Denmark and Peru.

We play France on Saturday June 16th @ 8pm AEST, Denmark on Thursday June 21st @ 10pm, and Peru on Wednesday June 27th @ 12am.

Players You Can Name Drop To Suggest You Know What’s Going But Actually Have No Clue

While most of us wont get far name dropping the likes of Timmy Cahill, there are a few players who you can name drop during Australia’s games to suggest you’re totally across world football.

#1 Paul Pogba (France) – “Man Paul Pogba has so much talent, but he’s had a terrible season with United.”

#2 Christian Eriksen (Denmark) – “Eriksen is definitely Denmark’s main guy, he is a talented lad.”

#3 Paolo Guerrero (Peru) – “Paolo is a lucky man, he tested positive for cocaine recently and nearly got banned for the World Cup!” (Actual true fact, not kidding).

Who’s Actually Going To Win It


Let’s cut to the teams that are the big favourites to take home all the choccies. Germany are the defending champs, and are always going to be at the business end of the comp. Brazil, France, Argentina and Spain probably round out the main favourites group.

If you want to pretend like you know what you’re talking about, just mention that you “think Belgium are a smokey underdog guys!” Because they are and you’ll sound legit. Just field no more questions on the players or their form or anything else about them.

Where To Watch It

All the Aussie games are live and freeeeee on SBS, but if you’re a real soccer/football/round ball/world game aficionado, you’ll need to subscribe to Optus Sport for $15 to get access to every game.

Look overall, just jump right on the bandwagon. Drop a few names, pretend like you know what’s going on and let’s hope those Socceroos score some golazooooosss! Aka goals, get ready to hear golazo A LOT.

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