Dating & Sex

Ola Learns: Tinder

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Hello and good day. My name is Ola and I think sex is a brilliant topic. I spend hours every week with my girlfriends chatting about the very topic – there is nothing off limits. I’ve learnt very quickly I’m good at dating but I fail miserably at relationships – I’ve been in short term, long-term relationships and even engaged. I am currently very single. So all in all, I am excited to talk to you beautiful specimens about sex and dating. I hope you enjoy reading about that crazy taboo topic, sex – because I sure love talking about it. We’re going to start off easy, something cute that we all know and not so secretly love – Tinder.

The revolution of Tinder has literally created a whole new topic of conversation in a woman’s everyday life. When I’m with the girls, Tinder almost always comes up. I re-installed Tinder in April after my engagement disintegrated to a guy who I met on Tinder.  I imagine most people wouldn’t return to Tinder after such an experience, but I did.

Lets be honest, who doesn’t love to be chased?

I decided to return because I wanted to feel like I was still attractive after that breakup. After choosing the photos that made me look most flattering and sassy to the male eye, and writing a ridiculously cool description of myself – I started swiping right. I sit at home in my trackies, with my hair up looking like a cockatoo and breaking out in pimples on the most awkward parts of my face; I wonder if they know what girls look like when they are Tindering because I can assure you, I’m not dressed for the event. Either way, 500 matches later, I think I’ve gained some experience.

Through this, I’ve learnt that there are certain types of men on Tinder.

The Player

They sometimes have photos with the same girl, who seems to be pretty significant in their lives. I find it bewildering that they advertise themselves as some sort of ‘forbidden fruit’.

The Sexually Hungry

They generally message you at midnight with the old, “Want to come by for a snuggle/cuddle?” They manage to turn every conversation into offering their sexual services. #netflixandchill

The Cool Guys

The guy you become friends with. This seems like a really weird concept because it is tinder, but sometimes it just works. You may have set up a tinder date with this person, the chemistry is very clear that its mutually platonic – there’s no pressure, you’re mates.

The Stage 4 Clingers

The people who message you 50 times a day without you responding. The people who find your Facebook or your Instagram and try to add you without you giving a last name or permission. Abort mission. ASAP.

The Drunks

The people who use Tinder when they’re drunk because their friends aren’t fulfilling their expectations on their nights out. They generally post moments asking “who’s awake?” It’s a confidence boost and the alcohol is a shield from being embarrassed – it’s a version of liquid courage, they can say and do the stuff that they wouldn’t be able to do sober.

The Here For A Long Time, Not A Good Time

The guys on Tinder looking for a relationship. The purists, the idealists. The real world may not be good enough but it sometimes seems like they’ve run out of options.

The Here For A Good Time, Not A Long Time

The backpackers, the “I’m in Sydney for 3 days, show me around”, foreigners and sex fiends.

The Aggressive

The roided stereo pics, “suns out, guns out” and unappreciated sexual advances.

The ‘In Denial’

The “my friend just made this account for me, so I’m just checking it out” guy. Too embarrassed to admit why they’re on tinder.

The Pick Up Lines Guys

“Orange you glad to meet?” – “If I said you had a hot body, would you hold it against me?” To name a couple.

The Funny Boys

If you’re suspicious that your conversation is in front of a live audience, it probably is. The jokesters, the pranksters and the comedians of their group. They use the app as a source of entertainment.

Last, but definitely not least:

The Netflix and Chill Guys

Welcome to the Netflix revolution. ‘Netflix and chill’ is a new code-phrase for sex. It’s the polite version that they want to have sex with you, a faux innocence. Previously known as, “Do you want to come over, watch a movie and hang out?”

The Game

Tinder is a game; it’s like playing the pokies at the pub. You’re swiping along and then you hit the jackpot – you’ve matched with someone. The prize – you get to talk to the person. There aren’t any guarantees, but there’s that feeling of pride when someone likes you back. The potentiality and the possibilities seem endless when that magic screen comes up –“It’s a Match! You and Eric have liked each other”. Then you decide if you want to send a message or keep playing. Tinder has made it socially acceptable to have the ‘one-night stand’; instead of going out clubbing, we turn to Tinder to fulfil our needs.

Throughout the times sex has grown to mean different things and now with the Tinder revolution, this generation has made it’s own definition. The fact that you can swipe someone, sleep with them, and then delete them or never speak to them again has become something of a strange norm. It gives ‘no strings attached’ a whole new meaning, you literally don’t have to show any emotion or authenticity to the other person.

I found that Tinder is a small release for that 10 minutes coffee break (or tea break in my instance) where you can check your Tinder, have a little swipe, flirt with a couple of blokes and go back to your day to day chores. That little boost of confidence throughout the day makes me feel slightly accomplished. Majority of women I’ve spoken to have said that they use Tinder to see how many matches they get, the game is all too addictive. Lets be honest, who doesn’t love to be chased? You can be chased without actually being involved with the person. The chase goes on, you’re available but never truly available to anyone – there’s no end to the game.

You won’t fool the children of the revolution.

Peace. Ola x

Source: Mirror UK

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I have an unnatural obsession with mob movies, Gilmore girls, Tinder and frozen yogurt. A world traveller who's main predicament is a fear of flying. >>>>>>>>>>>olalearns.tumblr.com

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