Ah, retail. Every shift within your designated store leaves you a little more dead-souled than before. While listening to the one particularly jarring song on the work loop track, your face wears a saccharine smile. But inside, your mind is spouting off a constant stream of swear words and your eyes say, “I’m one horrid customer away from being admitted.” The fair chunk of us who work in retail know the pain, especially when we encounter these particular customers.
The Closed Store Dawdler
The doors are obviously shut, because, you know, the store has been open for over 10 hours and it’s time to bid this place adieu for the day. This may come to a shock for this particular customer, however, due to their concept of time being warped and non-existent, leaving is not a thing. And better yet, they’re in their own world, so they’re the most important person and no one else’s lives are to be considered. This dawdler will wander aimlessly around the store, refusing the aid of the tired worker. They’ll try a bunch of clothes on, and leave them in the dressing room, unhung and crumpled on the floor. And yes, you have to stay back and clean up their mess.
The Can’t Put Their Phone Down For One Second
Isn’t it nice putting in effort to say hello to someone at the registers, only to have them death stare you because they’re on the phone? Well, excuse the hell out of me for being a polite human being and giving you what you want by serving you. The entire transaction is them talking gibberish while you slog away at the counter. When it comes time to pay for the goods, they’re not paying any attention to what you have to say, requiring you to almost shout what the total is to get them to bloody listen.
The Stupid Question Asker
These customers are the ones that make you lose hope for humanity. Seriously guys, natural selection is coming and it’s got its eyes on you. Questions can consist of, “are you guys like.. closed or something?” Aw yeah nah mate, we just got the heavy gates out for a bit of a giggle and fun. Yes, of course we’re closed and no, you can’t “just quickly get something,” go home, for goodness sake. “Can you hurry up? I’m in a rush!” one might rudely ask. I’m going as fast as I can, but you know what? I think I’ll slow down, until you learn some damn manners.
The Price Arguer
“What?! Why is it $9.50 for the Watermelon?! It said it was 0.99 cents!” Well, maybe if you read the sign properly you’d see that it’s 0.99 cents per kilo. So, if you use your brain and apply a little bit of logic (seriously, you don’t need much), you’ll find out that watermelons weigh a bloody tonne. Therefore, the total comes to $9.50 and if you don’t want it then it’s water off a duck’s back, mate. Take it or leave it. On another occasion, they may argue that the sweater they’re grasping too is meant to be on sale. Maybe it was last week, but now the jeans are on sale. No, the sale can’t be applied to the sweater. No, an exception can’t be made.
The Vague Shopper
These are the customers that will come in wanting a particular thing, but will give absolutely nothing away. They’ll say they want a white shirt, but won’t describe anything about this shirt or what it would be used for. Dinner party? A night out? Lazy days at the house? What the hell do you want? A white shirt, apparently, and we’re meant to be mind readers and make it happen.
Image source: 20th Television and NBCUniversal Television Distribution