Friendships are a super important facet of your life. Close buds become a part of your tight nit network of people that you can turn to for support, guidance and encouragement and most importantly help you feel connected and cared about. However, red flags pop up and it is important to remember that as time goes on, you can choose the type of people you allow into your life.
Sometimes, you might start to notice that some friends have a toxic influence on your physical and mental health. Rather than making you feel uplifted, you leave a catch up coffee with them feeling down, insecure and just plain crap.
So rather than allowing these types of people infiltrate negativity into your life, keep a look out for some of these red flags, so you know which friends you need to take a step back from.
They Give You A Hard Time For Not Spending Enough Time With Them
The evolution of a friendship changes drastically from high school, through to uni and then of course into your working life. Unfortunately the transition into ‘adult life’ means we have less spare time to continuously be social. Trying to juggle the multiple aspects of life can often feel impossible. So when you’re trying to manage a mate who is giving you a hard time for never seeing them, well it can be stressful.
If you find yourself friends with someone that is disappointed or even angry that you can’t see them multiple times a week, maybe it’s time for you to set some boundaries around that friendship. A friend needs to be understanding and flexible when it comes to coordinating time to hang out, and if they’re acting like a stage five clinger, this can ultimately take a real toll on your mental well being.
They Only Want To Go Out Drinking With You
The ability to boogy it on down and get a little wild with your mates is great. It’s pretty common to have a few bevvies at the end of the week, or go for a cheeky dance at your local. However, if you find yourself with a friend who only wants to meet with you to embark on a night of heavy drinking, you may need to reconsider their motives. Alcohol may become the third wheel of your friendship, and it can become a very toxic third wheel if constantly tagging along. Be sure to place up boundaries around that friendship, and maybe even make a mention of it to your mate. You might feel the repercussions of their actions but they might even have something going on they’re trying to repress.
They Don’t Praise You, They Judge You
In life, we go through many moments of self-doubt and sometimes even low self-esteem. The great thing about supportive mates is that they are always gonna be there to help pick you up, praise your good qualities and push you to get through the tough times.
Now when you have a friend, who rather than providing their support, passes continuous judgements at you, the red flag need to be raised. It is simply unacceptable to have a friend judge you on your career choices, your clothes, your singledom or anything that simply makes you, you. Never should you feel like you’re walking on eggshells and seeking approval in a friendship, so it might be time to understand why this is the case. And if you are feeling this way with a mate, you could try and tell them so. There’s a chance it might even help to take a break . so you can both figure out what’s going on.
You Aren’t Feeling Like The Best Version Of Yourself With Them
Often we find friends who we bond with over our likes and sometimes even our dislikes. It might be a co-worker, in which you both mutually struggle with your boss or a uni mate who you bond with over your study struggles. But when that friend’s negativity about multiple aspects in life starts to invade into your positive attitude it might be time to re-think whether it’s working for you.
If you’re beginning to feel as though every time you hang out with them you turn into someone you’re not, it makes sense to question this type of ‘friendship’. It’s super important to feel like you can be yourself around mates, and that there’s never any pressure to be a different version of you.
Are you feeling inundated with toxic energy from a close pal? Well take a peak at headspace’s guide to creating a healthy headspace and see how you can resolve some of those reappearing qualms you have with a friend. Remember, managing relationships can be tricky, but at the end of the day you need to feel surrounded by positive minded people.
Image Source: Channel 10