Hoo boy, it’s been a crazy day for Australian politics and it’s only noon. In an absolutely explosive report by The New York Times, it was revealed that Donald Trump called Scott Morrison and asked him to help discredit the Mueller investigation as part of his investigation into the investigation (I wish I was joking).
Like, WTF? Why does this remind you of when an ex calls you drunk and asks if you can pick them up from the club.
The worst part is that government officials have just confirmed that yes, Scott Morrison is pretty happy to help out, and we’re very confused as to why. I’m going to assume it’s because he loves Donald Trumps pen- I mean, politics.
Look ScoMo, why don’t you just book a cheap room with Trump for a couple of hours and get it over with.
Wait, What’s The Mueller Inquiry Again?
Basically, it’s an investigation the allegations that Trump got help from Russia in discrediting Hilary Clinton in the election so he could win. Obviously, getting international help to fuck over your opponent is not allowed in this farce of a democracy, and so the FBI began investigating him and we got the Mueller Report.
People were pretty sure this would get Trump out of the White House, but… it didn’t. Unfortunately, they didn’t really find the powerful evidence that they were looking for in the Mueller Report. BUT, the FBI still reckons Trump has been up to some dirty shit, and so they’re still investigating him. Which brings us to the investigation inception mentioned earlier.
“If we had confidence that the president did not commit a crime, we would have said so”
— Ryan Hill (@RyanHillMI) July 27, 2019
The Investigation Into The Mueller Inquiry
Of course, Trump then launched an investigation into this investigation, accusing the FBI of treason. (Seriously? How does ANYONE think this is a democracy). Trump gave the attorney general William Barr full rights to declassify intelligence documents. Past Intelligence officers were gobsmacked, because it’s totally unprecedented to give someone that power.
Make no mistake: If Barr discloses the identities of CIA and CI sources providing information on Russia he is disabling our intelligence capacities *to Russia’s advantage*. It puts sources providing intelligence in danger and cripples the ICs ability to recruit new sources 1/
— Asha Rangappa (@AshaRangappa_) May 24, 2019
So, WTF Has This Got To Do With Scott Morrison?
Good question. Trump called up ScoMo to get dirt on the Mueller Report for his investigation into the investigation that is investigating him… ugh. And of course, because Scott Morrison is obsessed with sucking of- I mean, sucking up to Trump, he’s agreed to help out.
“The Australian Government has always been ready to assist and cooperate with efforts that help shed further light on the matters under investigation,” a federal government spokesperson told ABC.
“The PM confirmed this readiness once again in conversation with the President.”
Labor frontbencher Bill Shorten has demanded PM Scott Morrison release the transcript of his conversation with President Trump: “Mr Morrison needs to clean up the perception that perhaps the special reception [from Trump in the US] was returned for special favours done” #auspol
— Stephanie Dalzell (@steph_dalzell) October 1, 2019
Image Sources: Twitter