There are a few things in life that you can be sure of. You’ll have to pay taxes, you’ll work at least one shitty job, and you’ll definitely go on at least one dodgy date in your 20s. It’s alright though. At this point, shitty dates are basically a rite of passage for all 20-somethings. Don’t get me wrong, there’ll be some diamonds in the rough, for sure. But you’ll have to wade through some shit to get there. Here’s just a few of the types of dates you will undoubtedly go on in your 20s (if you haven’t already).
Now look, I’m not saying one of you should pay for everything. Personally, I’m an always expect to pay for my half kinda gal. But I’m talking about the kind of date where they “forgot their wallet”, or the whole date is a shopping centre food court (speaking from personal experience here. He really wanted a kebab). Being in your 20s can be hard, especially on the hip pocket, but if you’re asking someone on a date, it’s probably a good idea to financially plan ahead a bit.
The Just Looking For A Screw
This one is pretty self explanatory. You guys probably met on Tinder (nothing wrong with that), and the phrase “here for a good time, not a long time” was probably mentioned at least once. So really, you have no one to blame but yourself. They’re overly complimentary of your appearance and suggest another round before you’re even half way through your last drink. Homie is looking for a quickie and then will 100% ghost as soon as you’ve headed home in the morning. If you’re down my friend, go for it. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. Just remember, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas – except basically all STIs, ever. Those wont be as easy to forget, so protect your investment boys and girls.
The Obviously On A Rebound
They definitely suggested meeting at a bar. They also definitely won’t stop talking about their ex. When you ask them how long they’ve been single, their answer is less than two months. I’ll bet you five bucks they try to joke about “getting under someone to get over someone ha ha”, all while staring blankly into their drink. Maybe after one too many drinks, they decide using you as a shrink to talk about their ex is a good idea (spoiler: it isn’t). They’re a step up from just looking for a screw, but they’re also totally worse. Be smart about it, and don’t ever feel like you owe anyone anything.
The One Who Talks About Kids
This date knows exactly where they wanna be in five years, and that’s settled down, married with two kids and a dog. The whole picket fence thing. They probably already have names picked out (Jane if it’s a girl, Oliver for a boy). They’re all over their finances and already have savings for a four-bed house in the suburbs, close to good schools. You can basically see them screening you for good genes. They might even ask if your family has a history of heart problems. Look I guess this isn’t a bad thing, but it could be a sign that you’re just not on the same wavelength.
The Hot Mess
They’re already drunk when you show up. Enough said.
Image Source: Warner Bros. Pictures