There are 12 different zodiac signs in astrology, each as vastly different as the last. Love ’em or hate ’em, you’d be hard pressed to find anyone who doesn’t secretly love reading their own horoscopes. Let’s face it, although we’re different signs, we’re all just self-obsessed narcissists at heart. So without further ado, let’s make our way through the zodiac and detail the best and worst aspects of every sign. Just know this: the imminent roasting is done with love.
Aries
As the first sign in the zodiac, Aries are natural leaders. They’re charismatic and adventurous, and most people turn to them in times of stress. They have a natural magnetism that exudes maturity and together-ness. Kind of ironic, because, at their worst, Aries folk are childish and, at times, downright petty. They’ll snap on you before you even realise what’s happening.
To sum up: Charismatic cry baby.
Taurus
Taurus people are amongst the most dependable and loyal people you can get. They’re great, reliable friends/partners, and aren’t stirrin’ the pot for drama like some other signs are guilty of (*cough* Scorpios *cough*). However, we’ve all heard the expression: mess with the bull, get the horns. This was obviously coined with Taurus folk in mind. They’re ridiculously hardheaded, and are definitely guilty of coming off as insensitive.
To sum up: Dependable asshole.
Gemini
If you’re ever sitting at home, bored on a Friday night and wondering what the hell you’re going to fill the hours of the weekend with, call up your Gemini friend. They’re always, always down to have fun, and more often than not, they’re the life of every party. They’re enthusiastic and always on the move. Where the hell do they get the energy? On the flip side, as I’m sure we’re all aware, Geminis have an alter ego that’ll screw you over and not think twice about it. Gemini friends are great, yeah, but the lack of consistency can be exhausting.
To sum up: Excitable attention-whore.
Cancer
Cancers are the friends you call at three in the morning when you’re in the throes of an existential crisis and you need advice. They’re fiercely protective of the people they love, and being so in tune with their emotions make them excellent friends/confidantes. There’s a downside to being so emotional, though: it lends itself to debilitating over-sensitivity. They’re almost completely ruled by their feelings, which gets old pretty quickly, don’t you think?
To sum up: Moody parental figure.
Leo
It’s Leo’s world, and we’re all just living in it. They’re larger than life and demand the centre of attention wherever they go. They’re naturally friendly, and get along with anyone they cross paths with. In saying that, their confidence serves as both their best and worst traits: their belief in themselves are equal parts enviable and annoying. There’s a thin line between confident and cocky, people.
To sum up: Egotistical star.
Virgo
Virgos are almost like robots, in the nicest way possible. Give them any task, and they can execute it without fail. They’re quick learners and are great at thinking on their feet. It’s almost annoying: they’re great at pretty much everything. But, like robots, they’re SUPER critical and can lack empathy. No sugar-coating around here. A Virgo will tell you exactly what they think.
To sum up: Overcritical, and overachievers.
Libra
As the sign of the scales, it’s no surprise that the best aspect of Libras is their just and fair nature. They’re peaceful and kind, and ultimately, just want to keep everything nice and balanced. But, Jesus, the only way you’ll get a Libran to make a decision is pretty much to hold a gun to their head. Their indecisiveness is crippling. They’re also shameless people pleasers, but, hey, some people have to be, right?
To sum up: Indecisive with a heart of gold.
Scorpio
Nobody does life like a Scorpio. Their passion and drive is enviable, and makes for magnetic people to try and get to know. People gravitate towards their fiery and passionate disposition. On the flip side of the coin, Scorpios are aware of their power over people and can be extremely manipulative. They’re also secretive AF. You can fool yourself into thinking you know a Scorpio, but there’s a lot more percolating beneath the surface than you’re aware of.
To sum up: Charismatic instigators.
Sagittarius
You know that friend who is smarter and more competent that anyone around you, and they’re aware of it? They’re probably a Sagittarius. They have an uncanny ability to be straightforward and strong with almost everything they do. They are aware of their own wisdom, though, and can come across as preachy. Insufferable, even. Sorry.
To sum up: Intelligent jerks.
Capricorn
Capricorns can come across cold, there’s no denying it. There’s a hard exterior when you first meet them: if you don’t know them well enough, they have the ability of appearing cautious and private. Once you crack the shell though, you’ll start to admire their self reliance. They’re amongst the most capable and responsible signs in the zodiac.
To sum up: Ever-so-slightly boring but dependable.
Aquarius
Aquarius people are natural helpers. They like to improve the lives of the people around them, and have a natural affinity to lending helping hands. They’re easygoing, easy to talk to, and easy to dislike, too. They have a strange habit of being wildly inconsistent, and you can never truly understand them. They don’t give you a chance to. They’re weirdly detached and will always keep you at arms length.
To sum up: Distant, but with a heart of gold.
Pisces
When it comes to the little fishies, it’s clear that they are deeply in tune with their emotions. As they are the last sign in the zodiac, they’re extremely sensitive and intuitive to the feelings of others. While they do have big, soft hearts, it can also backfire and lend itself to an annoying victim complex. Constantly dreaming, Pisces folk can come across as over-idealistic. It’s everyone’s fault except theirs!
To sum up: Oversensitive dreamers.
