The Definitive Amount Of Messages You Should Send On Tinder Before Asking Them Out

It’s tricky navigating the tinder field these days and TBH we’re probably all wondering the same damn thing. How many messages can I send before this person thinks I’m weird?

We’ve tested this theory (you win some and you lose some) and we’re here to help seriously up your tinder game.

So where do you start?

Does anybody remember that song three is a magic number? Apply that to your dating life.

There can be too much of a good thing. Way too much. If you’re sending your potential lover a tonne of messages…don’t. Nobody likes their phone blowing up and in all honesty, some of us are just lazy.

Sometimes I don’t reply to people just because I can’t be bothered to respond to everything said. Not because I didn’t like them. Alternatively, too little can also stitch you up. If you send a single message that won’t get you much of a response then you’ve blown it, son! You have to find the perfect balance.

That’s where the number three comes in. Never. I repeat never break the three message rule. Starter. Joke. Drink.

#1 Starter

Always open with a question about their pictures or their bio. It gives them something to respond to. Usually, your new date will respond with something funny about what you’ve just commented on. Like, yes that dog is adorable and his name is Biscuit.

#2 Joke

Conjure up all your best wit and hit them with an absolute banger of a joke (no pressure) or if you’re not that skilled then another question will do. For example: Hahahaha biscuit! How old is he?

#3 Drink

Go in for the kill and combine steps one and two to execute the perfect request for a drink. Yeah that dog’s name is biscuit and he’s absolutely adorable and you hope they bring him when you go for a drink on Friday.


You’ve got yourself a date.

It may seem a little to the point but, duh! The best way to see if you connect with someone is to meet them in person. The lack of convo means you have more to talk about face to face rather than showing up and not really knowing what to say because you’ve already been chatting back and forth for a week. Now instead of wondering how many messages you have to send, you’ll be wondering how many dates you should turn down. Combine these awesome steps with your authentic, fab self and you’ve got yourself some Tinder game!


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