The New Messenger Updates, Ranked From “Ugly As Fuck” To “Kind Of Okay”

The new reacts suck and I hate them.

TBH, I don’t usually support the “if something ain’t broke, don’t fix it” mantra because updates are usually good and progressive and make life easier.

In the case of the new Facebook Messenger updates, I’m gonna have to disagree with that though.

We’ve ranked the most talked about parts of the update from “Ugly As Fuck” to “Kind Of Okay”, because none of them are really that great, but some of them are Not Bad.

Ugly As Fuck

The New Heart, Laughing and Wow Reacts



This is where “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” really shines. There was no need to change them! Absolutely none! They look a lot more like Google or Android emojis, that’s not cute.

To remind you, here’s the old emojis we used to have. A toast to them, who served us so valiantly, only to be thrown aside for an update that’s so ugly that my entire group chat has migrated to Whatsapp, where no emoji reactions exist to torment us of what we have lost.

First of all, the most obvious change: we no longer have the heart eyes emoji, which is now just a heart.

This totally takes away any nuance I had with using those reacts – THERE’S COMPLETELY DIFFERENT CONNOTATIONS WITH USING A HEART EMOJI AND HEART EYES. They are *not* interchangeable. The heart eyes emoji was super cute and I usually used it in like a bit of an adoration way – heart reacting a post was something like “OMG YES.”

Now, it’s lost that cuteness and feels way more intense – and not in a good way. It’s sterile yet intimate at the same time, and it just doesn’t work. I think a huge part of that is the lack of face – it takes away expression.

Then, there’s the laughing react. My question is just, why? Why change it? I don’t understand. How was this an improvement? It was so cute before. Now it’s just weird, with odd proportions. It reminds me of the cursed Emoji Movie.

As for the Wow react… I’m sorry, but I can imagine it showing up on a Rule 34 site. If you see it on your own phone, it moves and it’s… well… kinda gross. Soz.

Definitely A Down-Grade, But Not Quite Ugly

Okay, on to the next rank.

The Sad, Angry and Thumbs React

The sad react as shown above is, like I said, definitely a downgrade. The other one was so good for ironic use, but this one just seems to be lacking something. That being said, I don’t HATE it. It can stay if it wants, but I’m going to pretend it’s not there. And TBH, same with the angry react. It’s a tragic step back in time to early 2000s Android emojis, but it doesn’t make me want to puke.

Sending Images

The new form of image sending looks pretty basic TBH. It looks like a communication app from 2010 (anyone else getting Viber vibes?). 5/10.

Kind Of Okay I Guess

The New ‘Stories’ Page

At first glance, my instant reaction was revulsion – but I think that was def a conditioned response to change. Upon further inspection, it’s not really a big deal. I’m literally never off the chat page, so adding this doesn’t really make a difference to my Messenger experience.

For people who actually use Messenger stories (like all my aunties that are aged over 40), I can see it being convenient. Something weird is how it looks exactly like Snapchat’s discover page now – hmm. So Facebook sinks Snapchat only to steal their Look?

Look, I miss Snapchat so I’m salty on their behalf, but  I can see people using this new page even if I don’t.

Okay, But What Does Twitter Think?

Obviously, Twitter is filled to the brim with opinions on the new update, and they have a point.



I’m sorry but the pros do not outweigh the cons here – I rather Messenger be slightly less smooth, but have cuter emojis. That’s it, really.

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