Sex can be embarrassing and uncomfortable at the best of times. But there is a whole truckload of things that can make it even worse. Throughout your sex life, it’s likely you’ll experience at least one of them. Start prepping for them now, because, frankly, if you haven’t experienced it yet, you’re gonna. And for that, we’re so, SO sorry.
#1 Saying Someone Else’s Name
This is always a fun one. You know you’ve made a big mistake and are definitely going to offend the other person when you moan someone else’s name. May as well just pack things up then and there and get out of there ASAP.
#2 Your Mum/Dad Walks In
Literally nothing, NOTHING, is worse than an unwelcomed walk in from your parents. Instant mood killer. Not to mention you have to face them at family dinners. Pass the salt, please?
#3 Farting Of Any (And All) Types
No matter what kind of farting goes on, no matter where it comes from, it’s probably going to get a reaction from the both of you. Best option? Laugh it off, hope it doesn’t kill the mood, and soldier through.
#4 Terrible Dirty Talk
Nothing says uncomfortable sex quite like blurting out really horrible dirty talk. Whether it’s too aggressive, strange, or just gross (even people with kinks have lines to draw), it’s an instand “and I oop-” situation that’ll probs kill the mood and defs make anything else you say during and hereafter low-key weird.
#5 Door Knocks From Your Neighbours
More funny than uncomfortable, it can sometimes put a blocker on the fun you could be having, since now you know your neighbours are listening to. Oh well. Maybe giving them a show might make them stop being creepers.
#6 Surprise Period
It happens once a month, it’s inevitable. But that doesn’t make it any less annoying for all parties. And everyone reacts differently. Some get really grossed out, others might be (strangely) into it. Proceed with caution, you never know what’s gonna happen next (but maybe lay down a towel first).
#7 Dropping The ‘Love’ Bomb
Not necessarily when it’s the actual love of your life. But, a one night stand, friend with benefits, or summer fling definitely didn’t sign up for that. Yeah, nah. Not the time, nor the place. I get it, in the heat of the moment all sorts of things come out (ok ew). But it’s probs best to avoid dropping any ‘L’-bombs right then.
#8 Your Pet Is In The Room
You both don’t know why you can’t get in the mood…there’s just something weird about the room. Is somsone staring at you? But there’s no one else here. Oh, wait, yes there is. There’s your pet staring up at you like they’re watching the Discovery Channel. But shooing it away doesn’t work, you’ve got to get up and physically take the pet outside. So much for being [hu]man’s best friend.
#9 Bashing Your Head On Something
Both painful and awkward. You may laugh, you may cry, you may be concussed, or you may pass out if you give it a real good whack. Who knows what you’re going to get when you’re in the throes of passion.
#10 Accidental Teeth
Aaaaaaah. No thanks. Unfortunately this happens more often than anyone is willing to admit. Biting can be fun and saucy when it’s good. But sometimes and some places really don’t want or need any teeth involved. You know what I mean. Keep the chompers tucked away.
Image Sources: Universal Pictures, Giphy