All The Things Single People Are Tired Of Hearing

Singledom is a weird road we all have to travel down throughout our lives. And while we’re all doing our best to plod along and keep ourselves alive in this adulting game we’ve caught ourselves in, we all seem to be caught up in conversations we’d rather not be in. It’s like it’s some whacked rite of passage or something. Here are some of the (many) things single people are tired of hearing.

“You need to put yourself out there!”

Absolute classic. Yes, let’s totally put ourselves out there and look too hard for something that’s meant to happen naturally. Logic – 0, idiocy – 1. We’re already busy enough on our own, let alone trawling through society for a beau. When we do ‘put ourselves out there’ in society, it’s usually because we’ve spent all week inside an office and want to have a bit of fun. Not because we’re hunting down a partner to irritate for the rest of time.

“I mean, I guess you should learn to love yourself a little more?”

Hnnngggggggggg *furiously sips wine*

“Aww don’t worry, you’ll find someone soon”

Okay, but all we said was that we don’t have a partner.. nothing about how we’re unhappy.. so what’s with the unnecessary sympathy and big cow eyes? Here we are just casually sipping on our wines when you all come in misplaced worry. Don’t get us wrong, it’s lovely that you care, but we weren’t worried in the slightest. We also know it’ll totally be okay.. just because we’re single now doesn’t mean we’re going to be spending our entire lives in a partner-less, barren wasteland.

“You’re so nice, how are you still single?!”

Being nice doesn’t mean we get loads of dates or a partner that’ll love us endlessly. If anything, being nice means people walking all over us and seeing how far they can push our giving nature.

“But like.. isn’t it lonely sometimes though?”

Oh my lord, you can answer this question yourself. Think back to when you were single. Did you get lonely? Yes? That’s your answer. Heck, even when you do have a partner you can feel a little lonely for various reasons. We suck it up and listen to the rest of you complain about your partner’s antics while we sit, smugly, chortling into our tea.

“What about [insert name]? You’re always hanging out with them!”

Well goodness gracious, of course. After years of carefully nurtured, platonic friendship, you’ve opened our eyes to the vast possibilities. How could we not have seen this potential before? The hard pats on the back, the name calling in jest.. Yep, definitely fLiRtInG. Wow, revelation.

Image source: Golden Circle Films, Apatow Productions and 20th Century Fox Television

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