Career & Living, Life

Things Your Corporate Friend Is Tired Of Hearing

Working the everyday grind is no easy feat but corporate employees cop it all day long. Ties too tight, stiff upper lip and that expensive suit giving them a bad name.

“Yeah look it’s a dog eat dog world isn’t it?”

Yeah mate, just like basically every other profession that has existed ever.

“It’s only a job!”

Oh thanks for keeping me grounded, my endless deadlines and ever increasing targets suggest otherwise. Sorry for being ambitious.

“Wish I could wear a suit all day.”

Yes in 40 degrees a three piece suit is certainly my first choice of attire. Giant sweat patches are definitely what the client needs to see.

“You’re living the dream!”

Hmm, I think we have quite different definitions of what this ‘dream’ actually is.

“Personally, I couldn’t sellout and work for a huge company like that.”

Thank you for your unsolicited opinion. Unwarranted as it is incorrect, working for a large business isn’t selling out.

“You must get so much guidance at that company.”

Oh yes in a floor packed to the brim with cubicles the big dog in the corner office visits me on the regular. No way.

“I’d hate having to wake up so early and work so late.”

Not to say sleep is for the weak but the hard yards now are sure to pay off later. Long hours are expected and I’m happy to compromise my Monday-Friday for the long game.

“Afterwork drinks aren’t compulsory though.”

Ha. Hilarious. If you think knocking off at 3pm and boozing with clients and bigwigs isn’t compulsory, you’re on the fast track to fired.

“Your round mate, you’re raking it in!”

And you sir are a mooch. This tie cost $15 on special.

“Oh you work at that company, do you know Sarah?”

Yes of course, I know every employee, all 2000. Unless I worked in HR you can safely assume I don’t know them.

“Isn’t it all too competitive for you?”

Isn’t being mediocre boring? Given it does suit a certain time of person, but many thrive in the corporate world.

“I bet you’re just in it for the money.”

Oh yes, I’m a greedy, dark eyed, corporate ladder climbing cretin. Working in a big company has the benefit of seeing your work in action, in a big way. So the pay is just a bonus and you best believe I earn every penny.

“Aren’t you worried about getting fired? It’s all so ruthless”

If I’m doing my job to standard (at least), then no not at all.

Image source: MCCS Iwakuni. 
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Working creative, good with words (sometimes at least), and sneaker head. When the self lacing Back to Future shoes arrive, I'm at the top of the list.

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