Unicorn pool floats are so last decade. Summer doesn’t need the sparkle and colour of rainbows and glittery plastic pool float animals.
Plus, I’ve seen many a summer cocktail and rosé go to waste in a pool (and a ‘gram wasted) from someone falling from the fat, flat (slippery) body surface. We have had enough.
It’s time to get pool floaties that more accurately reflect the Millennial / Gen Z state of mind. Besides, sometimes Summer needs to tone it down a little.
And we’ve found the solution: coffin pool floats.
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Now you don’t have to hold off your quarter-life crisis until Summer is over. It can go on forever thanks to the team behind Pom Pom Floats.
Canadian designers Andrew Greenbaum and Ian Felton have created these coffin pool floats – complete with lid – in two colours: millennial-meltdown pink or deathly abyss black (not the official names, but I’m not copyrighting them).
Whatever your mood, there’s a box for you.
Whether you after the full funeral vibes and box yourself in and float away – which, might I add, is a very sun smart system to be both on the water and covered from the sun. Which low-key, high-key just manifests my two worst nightmares: being buried alive and drowning.
So much fun, right?
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@jesserennix 💗 @acehotelpalmsprings
Or, if you wanted fewer mourning-vibes and more party-vibes, you can set up a very comfy puffy boat. Perfect for bringing bevvies or snacks aboard without the fear of capsizing. Unlike the animal and other flat, non-walled floats.
Just don’t forget to slip, slop, slap.
Even if you didn’t want to bring it into the water, it’d make a ripper outdoor bed. Lay it on the beach, or grass, fill it with towels (or blankets) and a pillow (or ten) and you’re good to go.
Unfortunately, we are yet to spot any of these in Australia. However, Pom Pom does ship around the world, just check out their website. And for $75 (AUD) you could snag yourself one of these pool floats and be the life – and death – of the pool party.
Image Sources: Pom Pom Instagram (@pompomfloats)
