Here at 5Why, we LOVE all things Pyramids, and all things iconic, ultimate, nostalgic, and purely fanta-stic (get it, Fanta, soft drinks, ha).
After several ranking results (soz KFC x) we have decided to crack open a cold one with the team and rank some spicy, crisp drinks. And no, not your beers or ciders, but soft drinks. The elixir of youth, the soothing soul to your harsh alcoholic spirit.
No matter how old you are, everyone’s cracked at least a few of these soft drinks at some point in their lives (who knows you may be opening one as we speak, cheers man).
And after some crucial, concrete and holistic thinking, we’ve managed to comprise yet another iconic pyramid for ya pals. So let’s slurp in, discuss and analyse these v important results.
7-Up Lemon-Lime Soda
“7-Up got the flu” and true because it’s TRASH.
Lift Sparkling Lemon Flavour
Who even drinks Lift? It’s a disgrace to Lemonade, PERIOD.
Coca Cola Diet
Two words that ironically belong together, but like don’t. Diet & coke? Trash it hunny it ain’t saving you no calories.
Look after that whole Kendall Jenner, save the world with a Pepsi can situation, Pepsi went from Eh to absolute trash (They should’ve just stuck with Queen Bey dancing around with a Pepsi can).
Also, why drink Pepsi when we’ve got Coke? The OG and the better-ish choice x
Schweppes Ginger Ale
AKA “the boomer drink”.
You only see one of these when mum, dad, or grandad ask for a good ole ginger ale. Ginger itself is already quite trash, and mix it into a crisp soft drink it’s just absurd and nobody asked for it?!
But hey if mum or grandad asks for one you just simply say “ok boomer”.
Dr Pepper should just stay in America. Look good on you if your a coke and cherry fan, but I’d rather not.
Dis drink is Trash sir.
Crab Juice *Mountain Ew* that’s all I have to say.
Coca Cola Zero Sugar
“Zero calories”, “Zero Sugar” they say. But we say Eh don’t believe it, but like you’re not absolutely terrible…
Look it’s not lemon, lime and bitters, but like, it will do I guess. Not deserving enough of ‘just as holy’ but not a trash can. Sprite is your go-to lemonade, but it’s not at the top boys and girls.
Solo Original Lemon
Again not terrible, but honestly better than your sprite. Solo is really living it’s Solo life, as it unfortunately never pairs quite enough with your daily life decisions.
Coca Cola Classic
The bad boy that started it all (Santa is that you?). Look it’s not up there with your Vanilla coke, but we couldn’t trash it, so here it belongs nicely in Eh. Classic coke is kind of the ‘eh’ decision, “like eh, why not have some coke”, you feel me?
JUST AS HOLY
Schweppes Lemon Lime Bitters
One of the most iconic Aussie summer drinks. Refreshing, slightly boujee, not your average lemonade, but BETTER. Perfect in a glass with some ice, maybe a slice of lime if you’re feeling fancy schmancy. Mmmmm, yep, I can already imagine sipping on one of these outside in the sun and feeling ReFrEsHeD. And if you’re feeling funky, this one’s the perfect mixer with your vodkas, cocktails, and other spirits.
Jarriotos Natural Flavour Soda
One of the greatest soda drinks invented YET. Feeling a little fancy and bored of your ordinary soft drinks, well hold your horses because Jarritos come in many wonderful and funky flavours. The Guava for starters it the best one yet, and one of these bad boys with your Mexican = dreams.
Kirks Originals Pasito
Once again Kirks have hit it out of the park. Serving iconic after iconic. Pasito is the slightly naughty version of passionfruit juice. Crisp, the perfect balance between tangy and sweet, and a 100% contender of the holy soft drinks.
One of the iconic Aussie summer drinks. Rock up to the beach with one of these bad boys and you just can’t go wrong tbh. Oranges are very overrated in our books, so this crispy boy brings them back into the light.
Up on the top, we’ve got our two heroes and ultimate gods of the fizzy soft drinks.
Kirks Original Creaming Soda
Rightfully deserving of God-Level, Kirks never fails to deliver taste, and creaming soda makes our tastebuds physically smile, making us feel 10 years old all over again, eating ice cream spiders and beating the heat during lunch break.
Coca Cola, Vanilla
The SUPERIOR Coke flavour undoubtedly, change our minds. Not only was the Vanilla coke idea GENIUS, but this flavour in a frozen version also beats any hot summer day I’m telling you.
And just to end it all…
Coca Cola went to town
Diet Pepsi shot him down
Dr. Pepper picked him up
Now we’re drinking 7-Up
7-Up got the flu
Now we’re drinking Mountain Dew
Mountain Dew fell off a mountain
Now we’re drinking from a fountain
Fountain broke, people choke,
Now we’re back to drinking coke.