Ahh, people. Ahh, night’s out. The perfect combination. The things you see are almost hectic enough to become something akin to an art form. We’ve all got our own stories, a lot of which have their own form of disgusting antics, but here are all the whacked antics you’re most likely to see on a night out.
People Doing It In The Bathrooms
One minute you’re minding your own business, washing your hands like a clean, functional human. The next minute you see hands from under the door that are placed on the dirty af ground, followed by your ear holes being inundated with the notorious ‘smacking’ sound. You know the noise, it’s the sound of pelvises and genitalia being whacked together. Like guys.. We’re all technically animals sure, but boinking in the bathrooms, where people have literally excreted every type of fluid is just horrendously gross. I almost applaud your blasé attitude to the staph infection you’ll most likely receive.
Lurkers For Days
You’ll see them standing elegantly on the raised landing of the bar or club where you’ve decided to reside. They look relatively normal from the perception of your distorted eyes, but when you look a little closer you realise the truth. They’re creepy af and are scoping out who their next unfortunate ‘interest’ is. They jump off the landing, as you remain kerbside and observe the monstrous ego with a face slink and slide up behind the poor sod chosen. When they realise the odds aren’t in their favour, they make a strategic retreat to their comfortable landing and wait for the next person to tickle their fancy.
PDA To The Max
The people who hard core mack on are the funniest additions to the night out. They’ll often gravitate towards a (what they think is discreet) area for them to feel each other up. Maybe if they’re feeling whimsical, they’ll leap onto a pool table and make everything hella awkward.
Ever seen someone projectile vomit all over something? Like a bag, or wall, or like.. another person? I have, and what a delightful time that was. Honestly though, we’ve all been there, unless you have self-control (good for you.) It’s like it happens in slow motion. One minute they’re dancing the night away. The next they’re looking vaguely at their surroundings, gaging whether their nausea is a false alarm or not. Then without warning, and with a flourish of disregard for their surroundings, you see them unleash their insides all over everything. This is why we can’t have nice things.
Image source: Katja Motion Picture Corporation, LStar Capitol and Soda Factory